A person acquires a reputation as unreliable if he agrees to do something, fearing of offending another, contrary to his beliefs. It is important to be able to reasonably refuse a person, but at the same time not leave resentment in his soul. It is especially necessary to learn how to solve such situations in relationships with loved ones.
Instructions
Step 1
Share your feelings. If you do not like the request of your partner and are ready to refuse, then express your displeasure and regret. Try to let your partner know what you don't like. Express regret mildly using the pronoun "I". For example: “I don’t need this, I’m not interested in this, I’m very sorry,” and so on.
Step 2
Say no firmly. In this case, the justification for the refusal must be very clearly formulated. Here, the basis should be your attitude to what is happening and predicting events if you agree. For example: “I'm sorry, but I can't go with you because I will feel "out of place" and will only ruin the whole evening."
Step 3
Be sure to suggest an alternative solution to the problem. When refusing, never leave a person alone with a question hanging in the air. For example: "I can't help you move furniture, but I have a phone number for a company that does it well and inexpensively."
Step 4
Maintain a friendly silence so that you can calmly listen to your partner's thoughts. Avoid interruptions, give him the opportunity to speak until the very end. Let the other person know that you are attentive to him.
Step 5
Repeat your statements several times. Just do not forget to take into account the arguments of your partner. If you still intend to refuse because of your convictions, say the word "no" and remind again of the reasons and feelings that justify your refusal.
Step 6
Be consistent, do not let yourself be drawn into reasoning. Remember that if you demonstrate your insecurity in any way, the other person will try to insist on fulfilling their requests with renewed vigor.
Step 7
Only settle for what you are really ready to accomplish. Don't be afraid to offend the person. If you refuse correctly, then resentment from your partner will not follow.
