You do not want to go to his mom, because you need to visit your own grandmother. You are categorically against the "transformers", because a month ago you bought tickets to "Doctor Zhivago". You don't like dogs, but you adore cats. So what? But nothing! You watch yourself as if from the sidelines when you drink tea at his mother's place, then sit in the ninth row and try to understand who is good in the "transformers", and then, oh yes, you walk with his dog.
Instructions
Step 1
Psychologists say that the ability to refuse is a sign of a mature personality. If a person is not confident in himself, the positive opinion of others about his deeds and actions becomes mega important. He “steps on the throat of his own song” so as not to provoke a negative reaction and not offend anyone. But one day he gets tired. He understands that life is one and should not be exchanged for indulging other people's desires and whims. So how do you get out of this vicious circle?
Step 2
First, decide once and for all that everything will be different now. It is impossible to be good for everyone, even if among them is the closest and beloved person. Secondly, to learn to firmly say "no", you need to follow these simple rules: Do not say the word "no" directly. Move away from the request in a veiled way. For example: “Yes, it would be wonderful to dig up all the beds in your country house, but we ourselves have grown weeds. So sorry."
Step 3
Refer to the opinion of a reputable person: "I would love to help you complete the annual report, but the boss is preparing a new assignment for me."
Step 4
Force yourself to be respected. In doing so, your self-esteem will also rise. In your office, hang your certificates and diplomas, at home - photographs that capture the moments of which you are especially proud.
Step 5
Work with your own fears, including the fear of rejection. Read psychological literature (you can start with adapted ones), attend seminars and trainings, sign up for a consultation with a psychotherapist. Sometimes, two or three sessions are enough for the head to "fall into place."
Step 6
If your boyfriend loves you, he will certainly respect your choices and your true desires. If during the "therapy" it turns out that he is not ready to put up with the renewed you, well, it’s a pity … You are more important to yourself.
