Violence is a manifestation of aggression, not "crazy love" at all. If a man beats a woman, then he is a rapist, and the fair sex is his victim. There is only one way out of this situation - to stay away from such a "man".
To beat and love are different things
In general, there are enough expressions such as "love is evil", "endure - fall in love" in the Russian language. Many make this a motto in life and exist in an aggressive environment, subject to domestic violence. How does it all start? Where is the starting point, the turning point at which yesterday a gentle and loving husband raised his hand to his wife for the first time. After all, when a happy newlywed goes down the aisle, she does not even think that her husband can hit her, even beat her. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, but not to them. Therefore, when violence occurs for the first time, most women who encounter it experience a sense of complete confusion and lack of understanding of what is happening.
From the point of view of psychologists, everything is simple. Any violence always develops according to a certain pattern. It is a cycle that has four stages and repeats constantly. You should not delude yourself. If a man raised his hand to a woman once, this will be repeated until the woman breaks off relations with him and gets rid of him. No matter how harsh it sounds, you can get rid of violence only by parting with the rapist.
Four stages of violence
So there are four stages. Violence, of course, does not come from anywhere. In the first stage, preceding violence, discontent is ripening. If a man is prone to aggression, it is at this moment that he psychologically prepares himself for an act of violence. Of course, "not on purpose." That is, only maniacs are hatching plans about how they will beat his wife. A "normal" aggressor commits a violent incident at the moment of an outbreak of violence, which is accompanied by emotional stress, accusations, insults, threats and, finally, action.
After this stage, reconciliation necessarily follows. Often stormy, with the rapist's remorse, apologies and explanations of the reasons for the cruelty (she herself is to blame). Many women, by the way, think so - it is her own fault, she brought the man. The last stage is like a honeymoon. The relationship is wonderful, the repentant rapist pleases, gives gifts. But after this stage, the first one always comes again. The cycle repeats itself. No one, having experienced violence once, managed to avoid repetition by staying with the rapist.
How not to be a victim
There is only one way out - to leave. Stay away from the male bully, even if he is the man of your dreams. The life of a victim is unacceptable for a person with a normal psyche. And it is never a woman's fault that a man raised his hand against her. Only he is to blame. And, no matter how he apologizes, no matter how regretful, you need to leave the rapist and look for another man. This is the only way to avoid violence.
