The older children become, the less space should remain in their lives for obedience and the more responsibility. For a grown child to be able to make his dream come true, he must have the tools for this. And adolescence is the best time to teach a teenager to be responsible. Raising this quality in a child, it is necessary to manage to find a balance between freedom, control and prudence.
Instructions
Step 1
Think of your teen as a responsible person. Talk about it to him and others more often. Because the child in his assessments of himself will be guided by the assessments of adults. If you are convinced: “He will never do anything by himself, he needs to be forced all the time,” your child will certainly think the same way and will not do anything without pressure. Try to change your inner negative attitudes to positive thoughts. And instead of: "He is not able to make decisions." Let it be: "I trust the child, he may well take care of himself and is responsible for his actions." If you truly believe it, the child will believe, and therefore will act differently.
Step 2
Don't confuse diligence and obedience with responsibility. Parents often dream that the child knows how to take responsibility for himself and his actions. But at the same time, they subject the teenager to strict control and unquestioning obedience. But being responsible means making decisions of your own free will, understanding the need for action and following through. In a small child, you can train a sense of responsibility. For example, give yourself the opportunity to choose your own duties (washing dishes, cleaning, caring for pets, etc.).
Step 3
Do not rush to fulfill all desires and satisfy all the needs of the child. Because if a person constantly has food, it is always clean in the apartment, and clothes, books and money for entertainment appear at the right time, then he simply has no incentive to become independent. To avoid quarrels on this basis, agree with your teenager that you will gradually reduce your financial presence in his life. Better yet, make a whole program for several months or years.
Step 4
Do not hide information about the money spent on him from the child. Some parents believe that their child should have everything and do not consider how much it costs them. But as the daughter or son gets older, the costs go up. And parents are often forced to limit themselves. And the child does not even suspect about it, getting used to the fact that all his needs are always satisfied.
Step 5
Teach your child to handle money. To do this, first talk to him about how he envisions his future, what his needs are, what salary he expects, etc. Then stipulate a rule for reporting all the money you issued and spent. So the teenager will learn to be responsible for spending and control their expenses. Of course, do not extend this rule to money that he earned on his own. And finally, help him become self-sufficient - find a suitable job, draw up a personal budget, rent a separate house. Remember, the child must clearly know what funds he has for the week (month).
Step 6
Determine at what age your child should provide for himself. For example, let it be 20 years old or graduation from college. Agree in advance with the teenager about this and sometimes remind him: "In six months (a year or two) you need to find a job and pay your expenses." Be consistent and unwavering. Follow your decision, even if it seems to you that the child is not quite ready yet.
Step 7
Don't fall for provocations. After all, it is quite natural that the child at first will try to return to the previous place, where everything was given and nothing was demanded. Sometimes you will feel incredibly sorry for him, and thoughts will appear in your head: "Well, can you still buy her this dress?" or "Why can't I feed my only son?"
