Many parents, having not yet had time to enjoy the happiness of fatherhood and motherhood, hear the following phrase: “Well, now we need a brother (sister). One will be bored. " But does a one-year-old baby need a brother who does not even want to share his mother's breast with his dad? How can mom cope with everyone? Or is it better to "shoot" with three weather conditions, and then enjoy freedom closer to retirement?
Let's look at four options with their pros and cons: 1-2 years difference, 3-5 years, 5-10 years, and more than 10 years. Much also depends on how many children you are planning, how old you are, and in what conditions you live, but nevertheless, it is the time interval that fundamentally distinguishes the nature of the relationship between siblings and the specific set of problems for parents.
Weather
Often the cause of early pregnancy is “oversight”. Many moms and dads believe that they will not get pregnant until they are breastfeeding or the first "critical days" have arrived. And for some of them, these days never come. The first pregnancy smoothly turns into the second (third, fourth …). There are also those parents who want to raise “friends” or are worried about their mature age and consciously take this step.
In general, weather children are almost twins. Both want mom's attention, ask for pens, pretend to be breasts, share mom's health, strength and patience in two.
Pros:
- Children grow up together, you don't have to go through growing up twice.
- The total time of the decree is reduced from 6 to 4 years, after which you can continue your career (or give birth to a third).
- The experience of the first pregnancy and caring for an older child is still very fresh in my memory, which also saves you time and nerves.
- Kids entertain each other, and you can go about your business.
- Children often become real friends, since they have similar interests, the younger one is pulled up to the level of the older one.
- As a rule, the weather is less jealous, since the older child has not yet had time to get used to the fact that he is the “center of the Universe”.
Minuses:
- The mother's body is still exhausted by the first pregnancy, and the upbringing of an older child does not leave the strength and opportunity to properly rest.
- The second pregnancy is constantly under threat: the elder asks for the arms, pushes, and his weight is already higher than a woman should be in position. Mom often has to "take risks" so that the child does not feel left out.
- You may experience deja vu, the feeling that you are "bogged down in diapers and diapers."
- With the advent of the second child, relations with her husband are heating up due to the fact that there is practically no time and energy left for each other.
3 to 5
This is the most coveted age difference, popular with parents and doctors. The body has already managed to recover, and the older child begins to ask for a "sister".
Pros:
- You have had time to rest and are physically ready for pregnancy and childbirth. (This is especially true for those who have done a cesarean section)
- The difference between children still allows them to be friends.
- The older child is already getting off his hands and can help you a little in caring for the younger one.
- Younger children with such a difference in age copy the older ones and develop at an amazing speed.
Minuses:
- Jealousy between children becomes the cause of quarrels and resentments.
- Going to work is delayed or you have to go on a new maternity leave after a short interval.
Psychologists say that it is this age period that is most explosive in terms of jealousy. Try to prepare the elder for the arrival of a new member of your family and do not force him to care for a brother or sister if he resists it.
6 to 10 years old
Pros:
- You managed to take a break from the diapers and take care of yourself.
- The older child goes to school, and you only stay with the younger one for a long time.
- The elder can help in caring for the younger, look after him, take custody of him.
- You can already explain something to an older child and hope for understanding.
Minuses:
- Much of the experience with the eldest child has already been erased from memory. We'll have to go through all over again.
- Jealousy can take on more aggressive turns.
- Children are not interested in being together, they have too different hobbies and levels of development.
- Classes at school, homework and attending clubs require a lot of time and attention from parents.
10 and older
What matters here is what position your first child will take. If he has a favorable attitude towards pregnancy, then, perhaps, he will become a second dad or a second mother for the younger, he will protect the baby and be happy to deal with him. If he did not want replenishment in the family, then the younger will seem to him a burden, and requests for help will weigh and annoy him.
Pros:
- The first child is already moving away from you, he reaches out to his peers. The second child will smooth this gap, help you more easily let go of the older one into adulthood.
- The elder can already take care of himself and take on some of the household chores.
- You miss small children.
Minuses:
- Instead of the long-awaited for many "live for yourself", you will again have to stay awake at night and limit your life to what is suitable for a small child.
“Children will no longer be playmates.
There is no perfect family template. Someone is sad from loneliness, and someone complains about the annoying "small". Do you want to have children, when and how many you want them - you and your spouse decide. In any situation, you can find positive aspects and correct negative ones. It would be health, and the rest will be added.
