Alcoholism negatively affects both the life of the alcoholic himself and his environment. Addiction to alcohol interferes with leading a full life - a person becomes inadequate in all spheres of life, slides down the slope to the very bottom.
The main reason must be sought in human psychology. The vast majority of alcoholics see alcohol as a universal means to relieve stress, relax, and forget about problems. Gradually, this way of escaping from reality turns into a persistent addiction, a disease.
To accept or leave an alcoholic husband?
An alcoholic in a family is full of problems and troubles. This is a constant nervous tension, fear of causing a flash of anger, expectation of another binge. Constant stay in this state can cause codependency in the alcoholic's wife. She begins to justify her behavior with the following reasons:
- Fear of being alone. She is afraid to leave her husband because of fears that she will no longer be able to arrange her life. At least with this, everything is already clear and familiar, and with the new chosen one it can be even worse.
- A pity. A woman is fully confident that her husband will disappear without her, therefore she prefers to continue living with him, tormenting and enduring.
- Unwillingness for change. Leaving a husband means abandoning an already established way of life, looking for an additional source of income, moving to a new place of residence, etc. Therefore, many people prefer to endure rather than radically change their way of life.
- Desire to keep the family together. Following the stereotype that a child must be brought up in a complete family, a woman does not dare to take such radical measures as divorce.
The negative consequences of living with an alcoholic
Passion for the problems of her husband associated with his alcoholism, gradually leads a woman to degradation - she loses her individuality, becomes indifferent to her own life. Signs of codependency gradually appear:
- low self-esteem;
- tendency to negativism;
- the desire for constant control over her husband;
- feelings of guilt, fear of condemnation;
- resignation to their fate.
These negative emotions and feelings gradually destroy not only the psychological health of the woman, but also the physical one. Constant nervous tension and stress is a direct road to migraines, insomnia, hypertension, bronchial asthma, ulcers, etc.
One of the main misconceptions is to think that a wife's codependency can somehow help her husband from his addiction to alcohol. Psychologists, studying the problems of such families, came to a disappointing conclusion - codependency, on the contrary, contributes to the progression of an addiction. An alcoholic, feeling tolerance on the part of loved ones, begins to shift all responsibility for his behavior onto them, often sinking to accusations and physical violence.
Sooner or later, a woman needs to decide: leave with the intention of starting a new life or stay, trying to help her spouse overcome the problem. As a rule, you cannot do without outside help here, so contacting a psychologist is highly desirable.
If a woman bears the burden of responsibility for small children, and the alcoholic's behavior is aggressive, and he periodically uses force, then in this case there can be no doubt - you need to leave, and as soon as possible.
How to behave with an alcoholic husband?
The first thing that will be required from a woman who decides to maintain a relationship is patience. And also the realization that you will need to make a lot of efforts that require large mental costs:
- Do not create favorable conditions for her husband for his hard drinking, i.e. not show submissiveness, sympathy and pity.
- Do not solve his problems for the alcoholic. Let him solve all his difficulties himself, thereby he will not lose the remnants of the ability to bear responsibility for his actions.
- Do without scandals and tantrums. Do not try to talk to him during periods of hard drinking. Calmly but firmly push him to the idea of the need for treatment.
It is important to remember that all attempts to treat alcoholism without the sincere desire of the alcoholic himself are useless and thankless. However, if the decision is made by him and there is support from loved ones, then the chances of returning happiness to the family are quite high.
