In many respects, it depends on the wise behavior of the wife how the relationship with the mother-in-law will develop - whether it will be a war, calm neutrality or a mutually beneficial partnership.
Our advice will help you build good relationships with your mother-in-law, to the delight of your husband and the envy of your friends.
Do not indulge in revelations
When communicating with your mother-in-law, remember: everything you say can be used against you later. A mother-in-law, even the most benevolent one, should not know who you met before her son, what problems you have at work, etc. In the stories about your family, there is enough information about those events that have already occurred and in which the participation of the mother-in-law is no longer required.
Learn to speak less: listen more. Take an interest in her hobbies, ask questions and listen to the answers. If the mother-in-law speaks more about herself (and everyone loves that), she will not have time to ferret out your secrets.
Give an opportunity to prove yourself
In order not to provoke the mother-in-law to unauthorized interference in the affairs of your family, it is better to provide her with a convenient front for you to influence and use her energy: walking with the children, organizing summer vacations for them, supplying you with food from your garden, communicating with teachers and educators, etc. P.
Do not forget to thank your mother-in-law for any of her actions: for advice, help, and even criticism. Saying a simple “thank you” will gradually improve your relationship.
Don't agree to live under the same roof
Never agree to live with your mother-in-law. Yes, it will cost you additional expenses, but it will be more nerve-racking. This advice is especially relevant for those daughters-in-law who have the character of a leader: it is difficult for them to play second fiddle and obey the rules adopted in someone else's family. If you live separately, then there will be no reason for quarrels over everyday issues.
If there is no way to leave, agree with your mother-in-law that in public places you play by her rules, but in the room allocated to you and your husband, you do everything as you see fit, because this is your personal space.
Do not compete for the title of the best hostess
Often the mother-in-law finds fault with her daughter-in-law, as she is driven by jealousy and a feeling of rivalry for the attention of her son and for the recognition of the authority of her opinion. Do not join your mother-in-law in the game “I am the most!”, Be more cunning! Simple confession: "I will never become such a wonderful housewife like you!" disarm the strictest mother-in-law, melt the ice and avoid nagging and quarrels.
Make it a rule to ask her advice every couple of days (do it as you wish) and take recipes for your husband's favorite dishes (cook as you wish). Your attention and respect for your mother-in-law's experience will lull her vigilance, and the number of nagging will decrease.
Agree with your husband to share the attention
Mom requires maximum attention from her son, so he disappears from her day and night, ignoring his own family? Think about what drives him. Maybe he lacks mom's pies and a calm family environment? This is an excuse for you to provide your husband with the missing attention, including your favorite snacks.
If the husband is eager to help his mother, that's good. Just make an agreement with him "on the shore": let him spend one weekend a month with her, and devote the rest to you, the children, and to have a rest with friends. Emphasize: “Mom's” weekend is sacred, try not to claim it!
