Often times, parents may not be able to communicate with their adult children. After all, until recently they were very tiny and could not do much without the help of their mother and father, but now the usual form of dialogue does not fit, and one has to look for a new approach to the grown-up child.
They are really adults
No matter how trite it may sound, you really need to communicate with adult children as with adults. Once a child was completely dependent on you and could not eat on his own and tie his shoelaces, but those days are long gone. If you take a closer look at your son or daughter, you will surely find a completely independent young man who makes money without any problems, makes dumplings for himself and crosses the road to the green light. The old condescending, protective manner of communication is no longer relevant.
They have their own opinion
In childhood, children often take the side of their parents, fearful of losing their love or not having their own opinion about US policy towards countries in the Middle East, and therefore agreeing with the words of their father in order to please. The grown-up child has acquired his own judgments and does not hesitate to express them. If you want to build a normal relationship with your child - take into account his words. Of course, you have the right to disagree with him, but you should not dismiss him and assure that the grown-up child is still too little and does not understand anything. If you only need an attentive and non-contradictory listener for your monologues, it is better to get a cat or a dog.
They may not be your only incentive to live
Often, a child becomes the only meaning of his parents' life. When he grows up, the father and mother feel old and unnecessary, and do their best to keep the child at home. The harder the parents press, the more actively the child resists. Get out of this vicious circle. Learn to enjoy your life, not the life of your son or daughter. And then the child will be able to communicate with you as with an adult, an interesting, established person.
They don't need unsolicited advice
Give advice to a grown child when he asks for it. He won't die unless you tell him to dress warmly outside and take an umbrella with you. Your child is able to decide for himself what he likes, where he wants to study and work, with whom to be friends and build relationships. Just let him do it.
But they need respect
Most parents love their children, but rarely respect them. But this is a prerequisite for building strong and trusting relationships. If your child has grown up to be a good person, then you already have something to respect and be proud of. Surely, if you wish, you can find other advantages in your native child: perhaps it successfully studies at the university, knows English, and during the holidays he volunteers to the north to help the cubs of fur seals.
