For mothers raising children on their own, there is an official term - single mother. But many women with this status can argue with such a definition. Single mothers are often referred to as women who independently raise children born in marriage. And society invariably hangs on such a mother the label of a victim, inferior, and so on.
The biggest difficulty for a woman who finds herself in a situation where there is no strong man's shoulder, husband and father of the child is, including financial. It happens that a woman is left with a baby in her arms, without a livelihood and without a roof over her head. It is at this moment that the support of loved ones is most important. This is not necessarily a mom or dad, a friend or girlfriend can support, help, even shelter. Do not neglect any help, this is not the case when you need to connect pride.
This is how modern society is arranged, which lies on the shoulders of a woman, in the main. And therefore, deciding to have sexual intercourse with a man, regardless of whether it is a permanent partner or a casual acquaintance, or maybe even a legal husband, a woman should understand that in the event of pregnancy, a man can simply evaporate, disappear in an unknown direction, providing she independently understand the situation, think for herself where to live, what to sleep on, what to wear and how to feed herself and the child. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a man to avoid paying alimony in favor of his child, arguing that this money will go to the common piggy bank, and not just to buy some things exclusively for his son or daughter. At the same time, fathers do not take into account that the child needs not only to be pampered with toys once a month, but also during the month the child eats something, goes to kindergarten, attends some sections or circles …
But the financial side of the issue, although vital, is still inferior to that experienced by a woman. Because it’s very scary. And it's a shame. And it hurts. And you also feel endless guilt before the little man. And with sadness you watch how dads ride their children on sleds, play hockey with their sons on the winter rink, and other people's daughters always have a reliable protector, and much more. generates, in turn, a hypertrophied need to love and pamper, which often develops into overprotectiveness, which is harmful to the child.
And in the evening, when the baby falls asleep, melancholy and despair, and loneliness pile up. So it won't take long to get depressed. Therefore, the first thing an independent mother should do is to stop digging into herself, looking for flaws and the cause of what happened. The situation already exists. And we must learn to accept it. Not through pity for yourself and your child. You are a complete family. Although at every step you will stumble over the definition of "incomplete family", but why not complete? Now, if there is no love in the family, this is not a complete family, and you do not have a dad, but there is love.
But to accept the situation and learn not to drown every night in an ocean of sad thoughts for someone is easy, for someone - a huge work. To help yourself, the first thing to do is to keep yourself occupied. To borrow completely and even more. Spending time with your child (or with children) - think about the little things, notice them and rejoice together. Count the leaves in the park and the stars in the sky, walk, read, draw. Keeping your child occupied with something interesting, and do the same with enthusiasm. And for the evening, find a part-time job - even a penny in the house is never superfluous. Or remember an old hobby that takes time and attention, and when you were married, you gave up your hobbies. Handicraft is very useful. Firstly, because it calms the nervous system of a woman, and secondly, it harmonizes female energy, stimulates the production of hormones of happiness and pleasure. In addition, the massage of acupuncture points, which are abundantly located on the fingers and hands, inevitably performed during embroidery, knitting, sewing, has a beneficial effect on the whole body, strengthening the health of a woman.
There are various groups and trainings for women who are raising children on their own. After a breakup, a woman may need the help of a qualified psychologist. But in most cases, mothers can cope on their own. Because children are our everything.
