Conflicts in adolescents arise not only with adults, but also among themselves. At the same time, friendly communication with peers is very important for the teenager himself. To conflicts at school and in the yard, adolescents often react sharply and painfully. How should parents behave when they want to help their child cope with communication difficulties?
Don't blame the teenager
It is very important for a teenager to be accepted among peers, full-fledged and trusting communication. The colors in which a teenager will perceive life in the future depends largely on how he learns to trust, make friends, love and communicate during his school years. Therefore, it is not surprising that in adolescence, when in general everything is very acutely experienced, a teenager reacts hard to his conflicts and lack of mutual understanding with peers.
Find out what is the reason
First of all, you need to talk to the teenager himself. Find out from him what happened, how he himself sees the reasons for the situation. If a teenager withdraws into himself and does not want to communicate, then it is worth finding out the details of the situation from the class teacher of the teachers. At the same time, as you understand, teachers are also not always fair and objective in relation to the child.
Adults don't always need to intervene in teenage conflict
The task of parents is to understand how serious the problem is. If we are talking simply about a quarrel between best friends, then although such conflicts among adolescents are proceeding violently, the direct intervention of adults trying to reconcile the participants is the worst that can be offered. Best friends can put up and quarrel several times a day, and boys often get into fights. Let the teenagers negotiate themselves and solve their problems - they are great at it!
The most useful thing you can do is to tell your teenager about more “civilized” ways of resolving the conflict, to show the practical benefits of compromise. Only this should be done not in the form of moralizing about exemplary behavior, but in the form of friendly advice, an example from one's own experience.
Outcast teenager
This is a completely different situation, it requires the attention and intervention of adults.
The teenage environment is quite aggressive, and, perhaps, in every group, in every class there is a "rogue" or "white crow". This does not mean that in reality this child is "the worst". Not like everyone else - this is not a negative characteristic, because on the contrary, a child may differ from others "with a plus sign"
Problems in communication with peers, lack of acceptance on the part of the group, the class are perceived very hard by the adolescent himself - they can cause depression and even sucide.
If you, as a parent, are faced with such a problem for your child, then do not let everything go by itself, do not blame the teenager. This is a very serious problem that a teenager himself cannot cope with. Intervention of teachers in "class conflicts" can only aggravate the situation - peers will perceive the teenager as a "complainer", which will lead to even greater rejection and humiliation. Be prepared that you will most likely have to transfer your child to another school. However, in order for the problems not to recur in the new place, and the child to cope with the consequences of the serious psychological trauma of "outcast", it is necessary to consult with a good psychologist. And, of course, your support as the people closest to your child!
