Disputes in relationships between people are quite commonplace. This is one of the forms of communication between them. However, it is difficult to properly conduct and win disputes. To learn this, you need to be able to listen to a person, stay calm and defend your position with arguments.
Instructions
Step 1
One of the biggest mistakes people make during an argument is the inability to control their emotional state. Most often this is manifested in a raised voice and an accelerated speech rate in the hope of getting your argument across to your opponent as quickly as possible. Emotional behavior does not contribute to winning an argument in any way; such a conversation always develops into a skirmish in which the interlocutors do not hear each other. If you want to win an argument, try to stay calm. If you are tempted to speak louder or even scream, breathe deeply and slowly, try to relax your body, do not cross your arms, etc.
Step 2
Do not try to solve complex problems with a swoop. Before getting into a protracted argument, exchange arguments with your partner, and then try to take a short break. This time will help you to better reflect and understand each other's arguments. For example, this often helps in family life. If you can't share family responsibilities, such as cleaning the house, you might not want to swear and argue right now. Say that you will discuss this issue a little later, then think over your complaints, gather enough arguments and, most importantly, come up with ways to solve the problem.
Step 3
A dispute between people presupposes a clash of two opposing or at least conflicting points of view. This means that you must be prepared to listen to each other's arguments. Do not try to interrupt your partner, refute his arguments only when he finishes his speech. At the same time, you can clarify the position of the interlocutor by asking questions if his words are not clear to you. Listening to a person is very important, it is impossible to win an argument without refuting other people's arguments.
Step 4
When laying out your arguments and arguments, be extremely specific, do not speak in general terms, do not generalize your partner's actions. For example, if you are unhappy that your partner doesn’t help you with household chores, don’t say that he never does. These words are not an argument, and are quite easily refuted. Surely there have been situations in your life when your partner helped you, this is enough to refute you. Talk only about specific things at the moment.
Step 5
You may not like your opponent's arguments, they may seem offensive to you, for example. Whatever happens, keep yourself in control, do not allow discussion of your partner's personality, instead try asking him a clarifying question, does he really mean what he says. Perhaps it was a rash statement on his (her) side. Do not talk down to the person, trying to make him understand nothing. Take his words seriously, no matter how ridiculous they seem to you.
