Meeting the constant negativism of the child, many parents simply put pressure on their authority and force the child to do something. But there are ways not to bring the matter to childish hysteria, but to agree with him, understand his needs and direct the baby's activities in the right direction.
Instructions
Step 1
Avoid direct bans. Our subconscious is so arranged that it does not perceive the “not” particle. The child is no exception. When we say “don't touch”, the baby hears “touch” and does what he is forbidden to do. As a recommendation for parents, psychologists advise more often to speak not with prohibitions, but with an indication of a possible alternative. Instead of constantly tugging at the baby, his activities should be directed: “draw, but only in the album”, “walk through the puddles, but only in boots”, etc. Look for opportunities to allow more often than not.
Step 2
Do not ask your toddler to stop acting. It is extremely difficult for a small child to stop, to stop what he is doing, even if the parent insists on it. In the process of upbringing, it is better to redirect the activity of the little creature to the permitted channel. If the baby pulls everything into his mouth, give him an object that can be chewed safely; if he breaks toys, knocking them on the table, give him a children's hammer and let him knock them enough. Psychologists advise parents to educate the child so that he can continue to act in the permitted conditions.
Step 3
Offer alternatives, not a single course of action. During periods of formation of the child's will, it is important for him to defend his opinion. Negativism, when a baby refuses everything, gives parents a lot of problems. In order not to bump into the child's "no" and easily come to an agreement with the child, psychologists recommend that parents offer a choice: "Will you wear a T-shirt or a turtleneck?" You don't ask him if he wants to dress. Choosing a form of clothing for a walk, the baby automatically agrees with the fact of going out. With this formulation of the question, he has the ability to defend his "I" where it does not cause indignation of the parent.
Step 4
Negotiate a positive outcome. When parents ask their child for something, they come across protests also because the child really does not want to perform routine actions, he does not see a sense from them. It is the parent himself who can outline the result of the work done. If you remove from the table, then it is convenient to sit at it to draw; if you quickly change into your pajamas, you will have more time to read and talk before going to bed, etc.
Step 5
Talk to your child on the same level. The kid is always physically lower than adults, his gaze constantly rests on the feet of others. The parents themselves, due to the difference in height, feel their authority more; their position physically higher makes them morally more powerful. But in the case when you need to come to an agreement with the child, it is better to be on the same level with him in order to look into his eyes. To do this, you will either have to sit down by yourself until your child grows, or pick him up in your arms. In this position, you and the child will feel not an imperious, but an equal relationship, while it becomes much easier to negotiate. Establishing eye contact also helps to stop an unwanted action, because a kid, carried away by his work, may simply not hear the words at all.
Step 6
Sit next to, not opposite. Face-to-face situations are often subconsciously perceived as confrontation. To avoid confrontation, it is more profitable for parents to sit not opposite, but next to the child. Psychologically, this relieves tension and the desire to resist, it is more likely to peacefully come to an agreement with the child. In the event that you feel that you are starting to argue with your baby, breaking eye contact and sitting next to him will be the best position and facilitate dialogue.
Step 7
Take part in the game. As mentioned above, it is very difficult for babies to stop or stop an interesting game. In order to better understand your child what is happening to him, it is useful sometimes to be included in his game. Do not demand something, but just sit next to him, ask what he is doing, how he does it. As psychologists advise, instead of "standing over the soul", it is better to join the child and help her to curtail.
