To successfully negotiate with your own child, it is important to build the right conversation. Do not shout, do not be nervous, indicate and explain your point of view. And most importantly, respect the child's opinion.
Instructions
Step 1
To negotiate with your child, you need to take into account his age. Don't ask a four-year-old to understand why he is wrong. At this age, it is enough to teach him to simply distinguish between good and bad. But the teenager must certainly explain why he should agree with you, what it will give him. Tell us about the consequences of a wrong decision, remember the moral norms.
Step 2
You need to negotiate with your child calmly. If you feel that irritation and anger overwhelm you, stop the conversation for a while and calm down. A calm tone sounds more convincing and confident, and screaming can be an indicator for a child that the parent will soon fail to withstand the onslaught and give up. To combat your anger, think of something else, take a few deep breaths, or count to 20.
Step 3
Do not try to argue, build a conversation on the discussion, give the right to choose. For example, if it is time to go to bed, then do not report it in an orderly and rude manner. Ask when the child is going to go to bed what he needs for this. If you want a teenager to clean up his room, then give him several options to choose from. Ask him what he will do: vacuum, dust or mop.
Step 4
Be sure to explain your point of view. For example, if you want to get something out of your child, explain why you need it. If the clarification doesn't work, try talking about your emotions, experiences, and feelings. But do not press on pity - in this case, the child may feel sorry for you, but you will lose credibility in his eyes.
Step 5
Learn to properly respond to resentment, disagreement, criticism, and rudeness. It is definitely not worth answering in the same way. If your child criticizes you, find out what exactly he is unhappy with. Stop rudeness, but confidently and calmly. In case of disagreement, you need to find out the reason for this position.
Step 6
Negotiations with the child do not have to end with the parent's victory. If the teenager can convince you or point out good reasons for his action or behavior, agree with him. But in order not to create the impression of your defeat, explain that you have reconsidered your attitude to the situation, and not just made concessions. If you managed to convince the child, do not focus on this and do not regard it as your own victory. Negotiation is a compromise.
Step 7
If the agreement did not work out, just tell the child that he must do the right thing anyway. Say that you have made a decision and it is not discussed. We need to teach children to respect the opinion of their parents and listen to it.
