On the one hand, fears are a protective function of the body, on the other, complexes, low self-esteem and fear of repeating someone's life scenario - one's own or a parent's.
Instructions
Step 1
As a rule, at the very beginning of the personal relationship that has arisen, there is a fear of quickly disliking, disappointing. People with very low self-esteem sometimes even wonder: why did he / she choose / namely me, because I do not shine with either talents, or beauty, or material wealth? Firstly, everything is relative, and secondly, if you are interested in a person, something in you hooked him, which means, stop reflecting on this topic. Better yet, start raising your profile in your own eyes. It is not easy, but it is necessary for a quality life. First, make a list of your positive sides - believe me, there are a lot of them, although low self-esteem will bother you at first. Over time, this exercise will become much easier for you.
Step 2
Another way to increase your self-esteem is to work on yourself. If you consider yourself not attractive enough - sign up for the gym, go to a stylist, just go to a beauty salon, after all, there are glossy magazines and advice from friends that you can turn to for help. Raise your intellectual level - read good literature - both classic and modern. Go to theaters and exhibitions, listen to music, communicate with interesting people, travel. Grow and develop - this should become the only form of your existence.
Step 3
Another common fear is the fear of being disappointed. You may be looking back at the negative experiences of your failed relationships, or you may be overwhelmed by the experiences of your parents. The world is imperfect, but it is one thing to really evaluate your partner and analyze his words and actions, and another thing to think up, raise problems. Assess the past, then there will be less disappointment in the present. Try not to do those things that led to the collapse of the past relationship. Do not build your relationship according to the scheme of your parents if it is far from the standard for you.
Step 4
Being abandoned by a loved one is also a fairly common phobia, again stemming from self-doubt, attractiveness, and past experiences. Therefore, most likely, your fears have no basis whatsoever. Drive away black thoughts that prevent you from enjoying life and the feelings that overwhelm you. If you cannot switch, talk to your loved ones, for sure they will dispel your doubts. In addition, it is possible that your partner is plagued by similar fears.
Step 5
Quite often, the fear of responsibility arises - after all, connecting with a person, you somehow become dependent on each other. Perhaps it is easier for someone to be responsible only for themselves, and to be responsible for those who have been tamed, they are hindered by this phobia, which is widespread mainly among men. For many, this fear is based on the belief that a serious relationship will take away freedom and that life will no longer be the same: less time will be left for oneself, one's hobbies, hobbies, and, conversely, more of oneself will have to be given to the needs and interests of one's chosen one. This is only partly true. Indeed, living in a couple will have to sacrifice something - personal time, interests, etc. Get your partner interested in what you do, involve them in your life - and you will have common hobbies and hobbies. And at the same time, be interested in how your chosen one lives, perhaps you will have much more in common than you initially had.
Step 6
In any case, do not hide your fears, share them with loved ones. If your discussions are at an impasse, go see a psychologist - together or separately, it doesn't matter. A good specialist will help you understand the situation, come to a compromise and, not without your efforts, get rid of fears.
