Not all couples start living separately from their parents after marriage. Sometimes you have to get along in one apartment for two generations, and in this case, clashes and quarrels often occur. It is important to learn mutual understanding, then you can live happily all together.
Define the rules
The first step is to choose the parents with whom you will live. Discuss this issue and make a decision together. After all, one of the spouses may feel uncomfortable in someone else's apartment. Estimate the number of rooms living, your relationship with them in order to find the best option. For example, if 6 people already live in a three-room apartment, and only parents live in a two-room apartment, it is worth considering the second option. But if one of the newlyweds does not get along with the other's mom and dad, it is better not to move to them.
Find out the rules and customs of living in this apartment. The owners of the living space, as a rule, are parents, which means that they will establish the basic requirements. Your young family is visiting, and you need to live according to their laws. You can try to find a compromise if something makes you uncomfortable, but the conversation should be peaceful and without unnecessary reproaches.
Separate household chores so that there are no "two housewives in the same kitchen." For example, you cook for all family members, and your mother-in-law does the cleaning. Do not take and do not shift everything to one person.
Don't forget to help your parents financially. Pay part of the rent, buy groceries, add up to large household appliances. You have created a family, and you should act like an adult, and not sit on the neck of mom and dad.
Define boundaries
Do not forget that you are already adults and must make decisions on your own. Defend your opinion on important life issues, but not rudely. Do not let us interfere with your family relationship, so as not to spoil the relationship with your spouse.
Raise your children yourself. Grandparents can communicate with their grandchildren, spend time with them and follow them at will. Make it clear that you have your own parenting system, tell them about its rules and clarify all questions. Ask to stick to your method and not deviate from it. Parents can advise, argue and try to instill in their upbringing, but you need to be clear about your position.
Don't feel like a victim or a parasite in your spouse's family. Sometimes the mother-in-law can reproach and belittle the daughter-in-law, trying to quarrel between the spouses. Learn to defend your position firmly, but without aggression. You are the lawful wife of her son, and you can be here with your husband. If the situation does not suit her, let us say it directly at a general meeting.
If you are having trouble living happily with your parents, do your best to start living separately.
