It is impossible to bring up a child only by the "carrot" method. However, how to find this fine line, when from the permissible the given action passes into the category of forbidden ones? Some parents confuse useful prohibitions with the total deprivation of their child's choice. Of course, this is possible if mothers and fathers are used to demonstrating a totalitarian model of behavior in the family, when the desires and experiences of the parents largely prevail over the unconscious instincts of the baby.
But in every family a period inevitably comes when a child breaks free from care and stops responding to adults as the only true guide and authority. As a rule, such situations lead to numerous scandals, nervous breakdowns and deterioration of family relations. It will be very difficult to correct the situation, and it is almost impossible to remove the memories of the unpleasant period from the child's memory. Of course, the most correct thing would be not to bring yourself and your child to such a state.
Any restriction that you impose in your family must be reasonably justified. In this case, the child will be able to understand that this is not your whim, but a necessity, which will improve the atmosphere in the family, form his own ideas about the degree of freedom and responsibility. Do not underestimate your child when he is small. Even at the age of two or three years, the child thinks so broadly that he will be able to understand your explanations in a language that he understands. It is best to use examples and metaphors to overeat the heart of the problem. Favorite fairy tales, cartoons, books will provide you with invaluable help.
However, parents should also understand why they forbid the baby to perform this or that action. We will try to understand and highlight several main reasons.
To prohibit is to protect
Reasonable prohibitions in childhood allow parents to protect the child from adverse consequences. This applies to both physical and mental health. The child learns to know the world using the "taboo" system. He begins to understand that where there is no entrance, it can be dangerous. But the child must come to this on his own. Otherwise, all your inhibitions will only increase the suspicion and interest of the baby.
Formation of life guidelines
Children's prohibitions allow parents to rid society of another egoist. Children very quickly take power over their parents, especially the modern generation. Today, many books have been written and TV shows have been filmed that a child is a person and that his choice must be respected. This is a correct and constructive direction. However, you should not unconditionally accept every word and think that there should be no prohibitions for the baby at all. Having given up something once, the child will be able to feel the taste of what he wants much sweeter than he will receive it at the first cry.
Child's inhibitions promote socialization
A system of values and responsibilities is being formed in the child's mind. Let the kid understand at his level why it is impossible to beat cats and shout at mom. It is even possible that for now it will be his good habit. The task of parents is to make sure that the prohibitions that they are now introducing make the baby think about why this should not be done. And if one day mom or dad, in response to another ban, hears a childish: “Why?”, Then your system is working correctly. The kid wants to know all the details of this circumstance in order to put them in his head. This indicates that the child is thinking.
It is important that your inhibitions are not based on upbringing fashion trends or the experiences of your staircase neighbors. Watch your child and try to pass on only the best traditions of your family to him.
