The divorce process almost always resembles a war. Only from the zone of these hostilities no one emerges victorious. Even if all the prerequisites for its start have been formed, coldness and misunderstanding reign in the family, the consequences will be devastating. Relatives, friends, and, above all, children may suffer. The warring parties should keep this in mind and conduct the process with as cool a head as possible in order to minimize the harm from divorce. It will not work to zero.
Losses
The smallest losses that you will incur in the divorce proceedings will be material ones. Let, when dividing property, you lose an apartment or part of it, be left without a summer residence and a car, but you will have a chance to earn money to buy new things. Division of property is not so scary compared to the fact that you have already lost love.
With a divorce, you lose your good reputation and gain a bad one. In any case, they will gossip about you. When trying to find yourself a mate, you will come across a logical question: "Why did you divorce your husband / wife?" Society is more cruel to women. Remember what divorced women are called - a thrown, a divorced, etc. Divorced men are also treated suspiciously. A number of questions arise: “What is wrong with him? Beat your wife? Cheated? Impotent? Why?"
At first, after a divorce, you will feel close attention to yourself, pity, condemnation, disapproval, skepticism, etc. People who say, “Wow! Yes, you are great for divorcing!”, They lie. And, believe me, they do it out of pity, supposedly out of friendly solidarity. Remember, maybe it was they who constantly interfered in your family life, took you to the bathhouse with girls / boys, drink beer, etc.
As a result of your stormy divorce proceedings, your parents, who were friends before that, went together to the dacha, went fishing, to the forest for mushrooms, and took turns with your children, may quarrel. How are you going to split mutual friends? After all, the one who did not take your position instantly falls into the conditional list of enemies.
What the collapse of marriage will be child losses, God only knows. In the TV series House, the genius sociopathic diagnostician utters the phrase: "We are all mutilated by our parents." He is right. Perhaps a week after the divorce, you will not see anything strange in the child's behavior. Do not flatter yourself, it is better to connect a psychologist in advance to talk to the baby. You have no leisure now. It is clear that the war takes up almost all the time.
Some of the parents, most likely the one who left the family, in a dozen years will not be able to communicate with the child. There will be no contact, it has grown without your participation. Alimony does not count. Although the scenario may be different, when, on the contrary, the guardian gets it, he will be accused of the collapse of the family state. This happens when a Sunday dad / mom feeds the child with gifts, and the one who constantly lives with the child restricts him for educational purposes.
If you have new partners, how will they treat the child? Well, if in an adult way, without lisping and without groundless nagging. However, more often than not, your new soulmates will be indifferent and indifferent. Theoretically, new children could appear. How and what then?
It is good when the feelings of the spouses cooled down long before the divorce proceedings, and cooled down on both sides. And if not? For someone who has freed himself from a hated spouse, everything will be relatively great. The left side will be left to live with a broken heart. Often times, people break down and start taking alcohol and drugs as pain relievers.
Bright side
If your divorce proceedings were preceded by beatings, humiliation, sadistic antics of your spouse, you are lucky that everything is over. Divorce is happiness, and its consequences are the most favorable. You should have a goal, along with it and self-confidence, a chance to live freely and happily.
Freedom. This word is intoxicating and beckoning. It's great to feel free - you can travel, implement business plans and creative projects. Great, if, of course, "freedom" is not synonymous with "loneliness."
