Until now, some parents in all seriousness consider spanking one of the methods of education, and very effective. Indeed, by slapping the child several times "for the cause", one can achieve the fact that he may stop doing what the parents consider wrong - this is what the supporters of "physical methods of influence" think. In fact, spanking a child, adults teach him not at all what they would like.
The essence of the phenomenon
You can tell yourself as long as you like that a light slap will only benefit the child, that it will "get better" in this way, what can be done and what is not. In fact, this is nothing more than self-deception.
Basically, a slap is a blow, and any blow is violence. An adult uses the method of violence against a creature that is obviously weaker, unable to defend himself and respond to him with the same coin.
At its core, a slap or kick is a common method of training. By "educating" a child in this way, you develop a conditioned reflex in him: the correct move is encouragement (affection, praise), the wrong move is pain. Only now, parents - supporters of such methods often forget about encouragement, but never about punishment. Thus, the carrot-and-stick method turns into the carrot-and-stick method.
What does physical punishment lead to?
Perhaps a child who is regularly "raised" in this way will eventually do what the parents want. But not because he understood why this should be done. They will be driven by the fear of punishment, they will be afraid to do something wrong, they will be afraid to provoke the anger of their parents, which means that they will begin to fear themselves.
In such a relationship, there can be no talk of mutual trust, close family relationships. Interactions between an adult and a child will more likely resemble a game of a criminal and a policeman: the “policeman” (ie the parent) tries to track down any manifestation of “wrong behavior” and punish, and the “criminal” (ie the child) thinks about how it would be better to hide your "crimes" so that the "policeman" would not guess about it. Thus, a growing up person learns to deceive, cheat, become secretive and withdrawn in relations with elders.
Few parents would like to achieve such an effect, but they get it by simply allowing themselves to apply physical methods of influence to the child.
What to do?
Having understood all the futility of this kind of "upbringing", parents should stop deceiving themselves, claiming that spanking is "useful", that spanking is a harmless and natural phenomenon, that a light spank and "hitting" are completely different things.
It is necessary to forbid yourself to beat the child. Instead of spanking, try to explain to the baby over and over again why this or that action is bad, what it can lead to and how to act in order to avoid unpleasant consequences. A child is a small person, which means that a creature is no less intelligent than an adult. Yes, he has less practical experience, and the task of a caring adult is to share his life wisdom with him, and not to sign his own pedagogical impotence by raising a hand on the child.
