Why do adults raise a hand against a child? There are parents who believe that this is the correct method of upbringing and the only way children understand what can and cannot be done. Others realize that they are doing wrong, suffer from remorse after hitting a child, but then act again in the old way. If you are tempted to spank the naughty child - stop! Sigh, count to five in your mind, and ask yourself a few questions.
Does the child understand why they are beating him?
The child may not completely understand why you do not like his behavior so much. It's really, really fun to smear ketchup on brand new wallpaper. Such bright and funny figures are obtained. Of course, it is not worth praising for such behavior. But you can explain. Think about what such a terrible thing happened? How will colored wallpapers affect your future life? Will you get sick, go broke, lose your home? You can remember this ketchup with a laugh and tell your grandchildren what kind of dad they were. And you can sow fear and mistrust in the child's soul forever.
Is everything in your family all right?
If the child misbehaves, and quite intentionally, this is a sign that there are some problems in the family. More often than not, the child simply attracts your attention with his behavior. But with each of your blows, you only confirm that you do not want to find the true cause of the child's bad behavior and eliminate it peacefully. Understand yourself first and do not break the psyche of the being most dear to you. After all, the patients of psychotherapists very often turn out to be people who were humiliated by their parents in childhood.
Do you want your child to love and respect you?
It's hard to love someone who hurts you. With each punishment, the child's attachment will diminish. He will lie more and more often. After all, if you tell the truth, you can get a slap or blow in return. The chasm between you will get deeper and deeper. The fear of punishment alienates the child from the parents; there can be no real friendship between the one who punishes and who obeys.
For what purpose are you hitting the child?
The very first answer that comes to mind is to punish. What do you want from punishment? So that the child realizes how badly he did? And do you really hope that the crying, offended child, after your blows, will go to his corner and think how to improve? No. He will be desperate, he will feel humiliated. He will be angry and think of revenge. Because violence can only give rise to reciprocal aggression. And if she is not immediately visible, then she is hiding and waiting in the wings. Come to your senses, you are not on the battlefield. You are in a family, in a place where everyone should find peace, love and understanding.
