Many parents are faced with the lies of their children at one age or another, but especially the problem is exacerbated in communication with adolescents. What should parents do?
Offer honesty and demand truthfulness
Psychologists insist that the statement "will pass by itself" in relation to teenage lies is inappropriate. Parents should clearly state their position - "lying in our family is unacceptable." After all, any, even small, lie in communicating with loved ones is a time bomb that undermines mutual trust. But when demanding truthfulness from a child, offer honesty on your part. If in the family "innocent" lies, boasting, secrets from each other are in the order of things, then it is useless to fight the child's lies, he only reproduces the model of parental behavior.
Try to understand the reasons
It is important to understand the reasons for the change in the child's behavior. Of course, adolescence is the time when a child has his own interests, and therefore his own secrets from his parents. But a systematic lie, withholding information is a wake-up call. Analyze: when did the lie start? to whom is he lying - to everyone or only to some? why?
Moreover, you should not ask a direct question to a child - he himself may not be aware of the true reason.
Why is the teenager lying? Sometimes adolescents in this way unconsciously try to draw the attention of their parents to their problems. Perhaps the child is afraid of punishment from you, or wants to appear better than he is? Then, this is a reason to think - maybe you overestimate the requirements, put a lot of frameworks and prohibitions that he tries to get around with the help of lies.
Encourage confidential discussion
Excessive harshness and pressure, a sharp emotional reaction on your part can only complicate the situation. Try to communicate more with your child, show that you trust him and expect a reciprocal trust. Do not read lectures, but openly discuss the topic of lying, and express your opinion about its inadmissibility. Ask questions that will prompt the teenager to reflect on his responsibility: "How would you feel if I cheated you?", "How can I trust you if you cheat?"
Enter penalties for lying
It is necessary to punish for systematic lies. But the punishment must be fair and accompanied by an explanation of your position. The best thing is to introduce a “system of penalties for lying,” some psychologists say.
Become a friend to your child
The main principle: in order to solve the problem of lying in adolescents, an atmosphere of trust and support in the family is very important. It is important to become a friend to your almost adult child. Then he will be able to trust you with the most intimate secrets, and you will be able to tell him the right decision and protect him from mistakes.
