The issue of raising children has been considered controversial for many years. If the child got into a fight or got a deuce, then dads and moms react to it in different ways. Shake your finger and say: "Don't do that anymore" or, without thinking twice, beat the naughty offspring with a belt? Dads and mothers actively practice both methods.
Modern methods of education are based on the rejection of assault. The emphasis is on convincing the child not to do certain things with the help of the word. Moreover, psychologists say that beating with a belt for misdeeds in early childhood is fraught with the subsequent formation of such qualities in a teenager as cruelty, low self-esteem and blinkeredness. A child who is often flogged with a belt may experience sexual disorders in the future; due to the desire to assert himself, he can easily commit a crime.
But the adherents of radical measures of education may object: "What can I do if my son or daughter does not understand simple words?" This position is also not without foundation.
Education formats
Each parent is obliged to study his child well, find his own approach to him, and be able to clearly distinguish in which cases the punishment will be severe and unconditional. There are two harmful extremes in parenting practices:
The first is parents who practice a gentle approach. They are constantly busy at work, so they cannot devote much time to raising their children, so they allow their offspring to be self-willed. Dads and mothers are not interested in school success, they are not interested in who the child is friends with and what he enjoys. Such parents are either afraid to punish their children, or because of indifference they do not whip their children with a belt, even for serious misconduct and crimes.
Parents from the second category adhere to radical methods of upbringing, they punish children for any (even minor) offense.
Both the one and the other format of the extreme have a negative effect on the psyche of the child. As doctors note, with our spiritual poverty and many traumatic factors, more than half of children in modern society suffer from neuroses. How to be?
To smack or not
Should a child be punished with a belt? Of course, there are occasional misdemeanors when the "severe punishment" must be carried out. For an egregious offense (theft, beating of a peer, mockery of animals, etc.), one gesture of the "threatening finger" is not enough. However, even in such exceptional cases, the punishment cannot be brought to a severe beating, which is accompanied by anger or hatred. You need to punish calmly, loving: the child will definitely feel your love, and will definitely feel that he deserves this punishment. Only under such conditions do children feel guilty. The punishment will be useful.
With a reasonable upbringing, children learn well the rules of behavior in the family, in society, at school. They realize their misdeeds and the justice of the punishment, but only when it is just. Therefore, before you punish, understand everything in detail and never act rashly. Some children will benefit from a couple of spanks, while for others, the very fact that a mother or father raised a hand on him (also in public) can provoke serious mental trauma.
The mother, in a fit of anger (constantly spanking the child, and then constantly repenting for this), gradually loses her authority. Over time, the concept of "can" and "must not" may shift in a child. When you discipline, be sure you are doing the right thing.
Strive for the hardest punishment for the child to be the exposure of his conscience. Then any offense causes a sincere desire to correct and ask for forgiveness from those whom he offended.
