Children, starting from about two years old, strive for independence. In pedagogy, even the first crisis of a child is called a crisis of independence. "I myself!" - the stubborn kid demands, and sometimes unbalances his parents and everyone around him with his obstinacy. And a completely different picture of the parents of teenagers - these mothers and fathers would be happy if their children were more independent, but only the children do not want to do any housework themselves, and often they do not need school activities. Why is the desire for independence lost in a few years? This is largely due to the fault of the parents. Efforts must be made to ensure that the child becomes independent. And we should act in the following direction.
Instructions
Step 1
If the child wants to help you, let him help. Then let him have to wash the floor and dishes after him. But by allowing children to participate in adulthood, you not only contribute to his development, but also do not cultivate indifference in him. If a child is refused 10-20 times, he will no longer ask to participate in cleaning the house for 21 times. Moreover, it will be almost impossible to involve him in household chores. Therefore, if you want your children as teenagers to help cook, wash floors and dishes, dust and do laundry, you need to involve them in household chores from early childhood.
Step 2
According to Vygotsky's theory, which has been confirmed by many years of research, the child learns only what he did with his parents. A child is not able to acquire knowledge by itself. At first he does something with adults, then he learns to do it alone. To teach a child something, it is important to invite him to do it together first, and then gradually step aside.
Step 3
It is very important to choose the right moment in order to entrust the child to do something on his own. There are two dangers - to do it too early and, conversely, too late. That is, when the child is not yet ready to cope alone, or when he is already ready for a long time, but they do not trust him, the moment is missed, and the child's desire for independence also disappears. In order to avoid mistakes, it is important for adults to act gradually. It is not necessary to reduce control immediately, but gradually.
Step 4
If a child is busy with some business and does not ask for help (even if something does not work out for him), there is no need to interfere with him. With your non-interference, you seem to say: "I believe that you will succeed!" But if a child asks for help, you must definitely come to the rescue. But not removing the child from the case, but with the proposal: "Come on together!"
Step 5
It is a well-known saying that the one who does nothing is not mistaken. And the child, of course, makes mistakes more than once. If something doesn't work out, children get upset. And they are even more upset and refuse to take further action if they are reproached and criticized by adults. This does not mean that the child does not need to point out mistakes. But everything should have its time. Firstly, mistakes should be discussed in a calm atmosphere, and not at a time when something did not work out. We can say, in hindsight. Secondly, the discussion should proceed from the position of "what is useful to take from what happened and what to do next time." And, thirdly, having scolded the child once, then he needs to be praised five times. Not immediately, as soon as he deserves praise. But until the five-to-one ratio is met, there should be no further criticism.
Step 6
At home, you can create a special table (and draw it up with the child) with three columns. In the first column, write down all the things that the child can do on their own. In the second column, let them list the things that the child can partially do himself. In the third column, list what the child can only do with an adult. Periodically review this table with the children and discuss which cases can already be transferred from one column to another, and which are not yet.
