Explaining parental divorce to a child is not always easy. Or rather, it is very, very difficult. After all, I want to do it as carefully as possible, without injuring the child's psyche. Most often, children after the divorce of their parents stay with their mother. It's just the way it is. I do not deny that there are cases when all the chores fall on strong men's shoulders. But this is rather an exception.
How do you prepare your child for a divorce?
If the baby is still very young, does not know how to speak and understands only your individual words, it is clear that it will be superfluous to explain something to him. With all the desire, the crumb simply will not understand you. And this, in my opinion, is the ideal option. Of course, it will be unrealistically difficult for you to stay with the baby in your arms without the support of your husband. But for the child, it will be the best. He will not have unpleasant memories associated with the divorce of his parents in his memory. Children are very worried at such moments. Therefore, it is better for the baby to simply have nothing to remember.
If the child is already 2-3 years old or more, he may not understand what a divorce is, but he will definitely notice the absence of one of the parents. Most likely, he will call him and cry. The most important thing in this situation is endurance and patience. By the way, there are many cases when, because of the baby, the parents converged again and lived together happily ever after. But if you are determined to divorce your significant other, be patient. Never scold mom / dad in front of a child. Don't say how bad he is, abandoned us, etc. Do not instill in the child hatred of the father / mother. The kid is not to blame for the adults making a mistake.
It often happens that children, after their parents' divorce, withdraw into themselves, begin to lag behind in development, and abandon school. You don't want this situation to happen in your family, do you? Then you only need to remember 2 rules:
- Do not sort things out with your spouse in front of the child.
- Do not prohibit the father / mother from seeing the baby.
It is clear that few spouses get divorced and remain friends after that. Basically, divorce is accompanied by mutual reproaches, daily scandals and constant insults. Even if this is how divorce is going in your family, sort things out in private. Don't let your child know about your problems. It will not be easy for him to survive the divorce of his parents. There is no need to aggravate the situation.
Again, if you do not want to see your spouse again, this does not mean that your baby is of the same opinion. After the parents divorce, it will be hard for the child to get used to the fact that mom and dad now live separately. He loves both of you, loves you equally. Do not deprive him of this feeling. Let him meet and communicate with both parents. This is especially important in the first time after the divorce. Let your child get used to the fact that mom and dad are no longer living together.
Naturally, it's hard for you now. Very hard. Divorce is an unpleasant procedure. Just understand, your baby is even worse now. He just doesn't understand why mom / dad is leaving. Talk to the baby. Calmly, clearly explain to your child what divorce is. Make it clear that you both still love him.
If you do everything right, very soon both you and your baby will be smiling again. Children have a hard time parenting divorce, but if you help them, if you explain the divorce to the child correctly, it is likely that many problems can be avoided.
And may you never need the advice from this article. Let the life of your family be bright, bright and carefree!
