10,000 children are abandoned in Russia every year. Today, the number of children abandoned in orphanages is in the hundreds of thousands. But some of them in the true sense of the word are lucky, and they end up in foster families. And it only seems that everything becomes cloudless for them. In fact, foster families face a lot of problems. And the way they cope with them affects the whole future life of the child in this family.
A foster child is a huge responsibility. After all, he is far from a rosy-cheeked angel who is pleasant to squeeze and cherish. In fact, an abandoned baby already from the first days feels like it is unnecessary. Nobody takes him on his arms, does not gently rock him and does not breastfeed. And such an injury remains with him for life, even if he was adopted in just a month.
The main difficulties faced by adoptive families, as experienced adoptive parents say, are associated with psychology. Moreover, both for children and for parents. When a mother independently carries a baby for 9 months, and then goes through all the pains of childbirth, at a natural level, she starts the processes of love and care, which are usually called the maternal instinct.
In the case of adopted children, this process passes by, as a result of which affection and warm feelings have to be developed in oneself by an effort of will for a certain time. There are not so many adoptive parents who instantly became imbued with unconditional love for the adopted baby.
The first feeling that pushes a person for adoption is, of course, pity. After all, one has only to imagine that a little man (and it does not have to be a baby) suffers alone in a government institution, as his heart is already bursting with pain and despair. And then painstaking and hard work should follow. That is why potential foster parents need to go through a special school, where they will be explained a number of processes, taught options for interacting with a child, and given a lot of other useful and valuable information.
Adopted children do not always make contact immediately. In a new place they look around, then various crises begin. After all, they, like domestic kids, need to go through the understanding that there are boundaries, frames, they must learn how to properly interact with society. In addition, children who once experienced betrayal are no longer so open to the world. It takes a lot of affection, care and work for their hearts to thaw and warm up.
And it often happens that the adoptive parents do not cope and return the baby to the orphanage. But such an act is even worse than the one committed by the biological parents. After all, the child is betrayed for the second time at the moment when he only managed to restore trust in people.
Another problem that adoptive parents face is the health of the child. Most of the children in orphanages have a whole bunch of diagnoses. And this is primarily due to the fact that they were not dealt with the way mothers do. Therefore, at the very beginning, the family often has to deal with diagnoses of "developmental delay", "insufficient speech", "hyperactivity" and even "idiocy", which are assigned to quite healthy children. It's no secret that after a year of living in a family, children change dramatically, and most of the diagnoses are removed from them. There are cases when babies with a verdict of cerebral palsy, getting home, completely got rid of problems with movement and even became dancers.
Naturally, among the problems that a foster family has, one can also name finances. Money for correction, additional classes to restore certain functions of the child, for training, etc. sorely lacking. The state has determined the amount of benefits, but they are so small and ridiculous that it is difficult to call them even help. Therefore, a family that decides to take a baby needs to think in advance about what to expect and where they will take money for it.
The most important thing that a foster family requires is love and patience. It will be very difficult without these two feelings. After all, you have to go through a lot, to withstand and hold out. Gratitude for this will be invaluable - sincere love and happiness of a grown child.
