Adopting a child is one of the most important decisions for many couples. Not everyone is ready to take this step, but if the decision is made finally and irrevocably, it is necessary to think about the problems that may arise during upbringing.
Problems can be roughly divided into 3 groups:
- adaptation of an adopted child to a new family;
- heredity;
- the health of the child.
Adaptation of an adopted child to a new family
An adopted child at almost any age has not the most rosy experience behind him. And even if you immediately surround him with maximum care and love, the emotional trauma experienced at first will be somehow, but manifest. This can be anxiety or sleep disorder, lack of appetite, non-standard reactions to what the parents are doing. At the first stage, it is a mistake to believe that warmth, care, a cozy home and a variety of toys will immediately change the child. He often questions why he was abandoned, why he was left, why no one cared about him or loved him before. You need to prepare for such problems in advance and, if necessary, provide the child with psychological support. There is no need to be frightened if a child begins to withdraw or, on the contrary, to pour out the accumulated emotions outward.
Sometimes a child can begin to reject parents, and in a variety of ways: swearing, misbehaving, inventing tricks that cause a negative reaction from adults. These problems are solvable, the main thing is to approach them correctly and, if necessary, consult a psychologist.
The opposite situation often arises. A child who has not received a sufficient amount of love in the past tries to fill this gap and becomes very attached to those who care about him, these can be not only parents, but any person who shows attention and care to the child. In such a situation, the child has several objects of adoration, but in fact this leads to the fact that the child is not really attached to anyone. He is passive and trusting, which is a kind of problem for establishing normal relationships and contacts with others, and primarily with parents.
In the process of upbringing, it happens that parents, not finding contact with the child, begin to blame not only themselves, but also him for not appreciating them, not trying to improve relations, causing conflicts and quarrels. But in this case, parents simply forget that such behavior is just protection from the child, most often it is sewn up at a subconscious level for everything that the baby has experienced earlier. In this case, there is no need to abandon the child (and this is often the case), you need to consult with specialists and with their help solve all the problems. With the right approach, after a short period of time, the child will change his behavior and will not only be happy himself, but will also make his adoptive parents happy.
Heredity
Many adoptive parents are terrified of heredity, and this often becomes one of the problems in upbringing. The fear of heredity does not appear just like that, but because of many years of assertions that the apple does not fall far from the apple tree, and the child of an alcoholic, drug addict, dysfunctional person will also not be able to become a good and full-fledged member of society. But such an opinion is a relic of the past, geneticists have repeatedly proved that heredity, although it affects the development of a person, is not dominant. Only upbringing is able to form the personality of a child, and it will only depend on him how he grows up.
There is no need to be afraid of heredity, there is no need to be afraid that the child's parents have laid something bad in him. First of all, you need to think about how to make sure that your approach to parenting does not provoke negative consequences.
Health
The health of an adopted child scares parents no less than heredity. The fears are justified, since often raising a child in an orphanage does not allow us to come to grips with his health, but this should not frighten future parents. The level of development of medicine is now so high that all existing health problems are easily solved. And the diseases are often not so serious as to be intimidated by them. Moreover, there is a possibility that even the healthiest child sometimes has health problems with age, but absolutely no one is immune from such a situation.
If you decide to take a very serious and responsible step, weigh the pros and cons so as not to make a mistake and not harm either the child or yourself. There will always be problems, but with the right approach, they will be resolved almost instantly. When raising a foster child, you need to think about every step and action, since it will depend only on you how the child will grow up, and how he will relate to you and others. In most cases, both children and parents are happy in foster families, and it is often impossible to assume that the child is a step-child.
