Rivalry between children in the family is widespread. It can proceed in a relatively mild, harmless form, or it can be very sharp, reaching conflicts. It depends on many reasons, first of all, on the age difference and on the behavior of the parents.
With a significant difference in age (4 years and more), rivalry is almost not manifested. After all, the older child quickly gets used to the role of guardian and protector of the younger, and the younger almost never seeks to compete with the older, recognizing his authority. If the age difference is minimal, competition is more than possible. And here parents have to play their role.
They should not compare children, set one as an example to another. Especially when it comes to success in a particular area. If you praise one child all the time, demanding that another take an example from him, achieving the same indicators, then the result with a probability of 99% will be exactly the opposite: the “loser” will feel envy and dislike for a pet competitor. Parents need to find another way to stimulate their child.
A very common reason for rivalry: the older child, after the arrival of the younger in the house, feels unnecessary. It is clear that parents have to devote the lion's share of energy and attention to the baby, and not to the older child. This does not mean at all that they have become less in love with their elder! But in the eyes of the child it looks exactly like this: before he was loved, cared for, and now he is on the sidelines with mom and dad. He is tormented by resentment and jealousy.
To prevent this, parents should prepare the elder for the arrival of the baby in advance. It would be nice to have a conversation with him, something like this: “Dear, you know that soon you will have a little brother (sister). The kid will be completely helpless, he will not even be able to explain what he wants, what he needs. For example, if you want to eat, you can tell us about it, and we will feed you. If something hurts you, you will complain and we will help. And the baby can only cry! Therefore, we will have to pay more attention to him, but this is not due to the fact that we have become less in love with you! And after the appearance of the baby in the house, despite all the busyness and fatigue, it is necessary to give the older child both love and care. With this approach, the first-born will take the appearance of the youngest child calmly, quickly fall in love with the baby.
