Misunderstanding between spouses is one of the main problems of our time. In the West, it has long been solved with the help of a family psychologist. For the most part, it is because of a misunderstanding between a husband and wife that family troubles arise (quarrels, resentments, problems, betrayal).
Lapping relationships and starting a family
The first cohabitation of a man with a woman is marked by the so-called grinding in relationships. This allows them to get to know each other better, from different sides. At this time, the spouses learn their weaknesses, psychological attitudes, character traits of each other. It is this period that lays the foundation for the development of further relations. When the grinding period ends, the married couple either breaks up, or moves to a new level - it becomes a family union.
Why is there a misunderstanding between spouses?
There are several reasons. One of them is “family patterns” imposed by society. The fact is that stereotypes and labels that society indiscriminately hangs on married couples often lead to misunderstandings between husband and wife. After all, spouses begin to subconsciously (or consciously) follow these patterns and rules, without developing any of their own unique ideas and methods for resolving certain family conflicts.
Another reason is internal psychological problems. The fact is that a lack of understanding of oneself greatly interferes with understanding one's spouse. Family psychologists are sure that this is one of the most important aspects of this problem. In addition, many couples simply do not want to listen to themselves and run counter to each other.
The term “ideal family” does not exist. This is an abstract concept that means happiness and peace in the relationship between spouses, as well as harmony in their personal family life. Each family determines the degree of harmony and happiness for itself.
Cold war
When spouses constantly do not understand each other, they start looking for people "on the side". This allows them to make up for their psychological and physical "deficit" - mental and carnal intimacy.
Often, misunderstandings result in the Cold War. In other words, conflicts may arise that are not resolved, but hushed up. Resentment between both spouses accumulates every day, with each new quarrel. As a result - total hatred and final misunderstanding of each other. Eventually, the "time bomb" explodes. So close to divorce.
In the West, family therapy is a common practice for many married couples who wish to preserve their marriage for years to come. In Russia, family psychologists are rarely consulted.
What to do?
See a family psychologist. Family psychotherapy contributes not only to the establishment of relations between husband and wife, but can also effectively bring them to a new verbal level - mutual support of each other. The duration of the course of family psychotherapy largely depends on the degree of neglect of the problem and ranges from several months to several years.
