Admit the obvious - cleaning is most often a routine for most women, but men shy away from it in various ways. It seems that only a miracle can make them tidy up the apartment. But do not expect miracles from the universe, if you can create them yourself.
Just ask
Often the easiest path is the most obvious. Most likely, by the time it comes to cleaning, you are already at the "boiling point" - you are tired of cleaning his things, you are annoyed by his inability to clean up after himself, you are offended that he does not notice your efforts, and so on. A cocktail of fatigue and resentment leads to the fact that you either shout to him about cleaning, or reprimand. It is not surprising that the case ends in a scandal, and the whole household remains in the same place.
Take a time when both of you are calm and positive, and talk to the man explaining how you feel. As psychologists advise, use self-statements. That is, do not say - “you don’t do anything around the house, how is it possible to breed such dirt, why should I clean up after you,” but formulate this way - “I am very tired of housework, it would be easier for me if they helped me, it seems to me that household chores could be divided."
Stop cleaning up after him
It is possible that a man thinks that "everything is fine" simply because he does not see the problem, because you are cleaning up after him all the time. Why tidy up where it's clean? And he simply does not think about the fact that good fairies are not at all bringing order to the house. So it's time to open his eyes to the rough reality - stop cleaning up after him. Leave dirty socks on the floor, do not collect dishes around the house, do not put gadgets in their places, let the natural flow of things turn your apartment from a cozy nest into a bachelor den. Wait for the puzzled questions and then talk about how cleaning is a shared responsibility.
Make a list
It's amazing how often adult men really just don't think about how much housework a woman does. Make a list by breaking it down into daily, weekly, and quarterly tasks. For each, indicate how laborious it is. Take a moment to discuss this list. Ask how much of these responsibilities he can take on. Do not give up other ways of solving problems - if the husband offers to buy a washing vacuum cleaner, and not to mop the floor or hire staff for general cleaning through the company.
Plan your cleaning in advance
Since cleaning is a daily activity for women, they do not need to remember about it. This is not the case for men. It may well be that he is simply not ready to put things in order, he has other plans and he is not so flexible as to simply rebuild. Plan the cleaning of the apartment in advance, discuss what time you should pay attention to small household chores and, perhaps, things will go well. If a man knows that before going to bed, for example, he collects dishes left out of place and turns on the dishwasher, then there is no point in reminding him of this throughout the evening, causing irritation.
Thank and praise him
Make it a rule to thank a man every time he does something about the house. Try to find something good to say about how he completed the task. “Thanks for vacuuming. It takes you much less time than it does me. Everyone is pleased with positive reinforcement, besides, perhaps the man will begin to thank you for your troubles, and at the same time notice how much you are doing.
Talk about specific tasks
Scientists have proven that men really can't see dirt. It would be more correct to say this - due to the degree of integration between the cerebral hemispheres, men are less sensitive to details than women. That is, if in general the room gives the impression of being tidied up, then such trifles as dust, things out of place, stains on the glass may be invisible to them. When talking about cleaning, indicate specific tasks, then you can expect that he will solve them.
Give him a choice
Invite him to choose the area of cleaning for which he will take responsibility. Thus, you will give the man a sense of autonomy, the opportunity to feel like an adult decision-maker, and not a little boy, from whom his mother demands to clean the room.
Make a deal with him
Nobody is perfect. It is possible that your man also has wishes about what you can do or not do. For example, once a month he would like to spend time with a male company in a bar, but you are against it. Agree to let him frolic without reproach if he takes over the following household chores. Or that you are ready to cook some difficult, but favorite dish once a week, if he will clean up all his things in places all week.
