Quite often quarrels and resentments arise between mother and daughter. Especially when the girl is in her teens. When her own worldview is formed and intense physical and spiritual growth occurs.
A true mother must be wise in order to form a trusting relationship with her daughter. We must learn to negotiate with the child literally from the cradle. Those mothers who build relationships with their daughter on the principle of "mom-friend" are faced with the pros and cons of such a situation.
The Pros of a Mom-Friend Relationship
With a mother who jumps on a trampoline with a child and plays with dolls, it will never be boring. She will close her eyes to many things, will not become angry if toys are scattered around. Even, perhaps, in a playful way, he will bring them together with his daughter. Usually such children grow up to be sociable, easily make contact with people.
Disadvantages of a mom-friend relationship
It is more difficult for a mom-friend to get discipline from a child. She will be careful not to inadvertently offend her daughter. But you should check your child's homework, demand respect for your belongings, monitor your daughter's nutrition, not indulge her frequent hobby for chocolate, and suppress some of her unpleasant antics.
In a word, you can become a friend for your daughter, but without fanaticism. The main task of the mother is to arouse respect and trust from her daughter. We must always remember that children need affection and attention.
They can get all this through communication with their mother. You should always be interested in the affairs of your daughter in kindergarten, school, in various circles. It is advisable to tell your daughter instructive and funny stories from your childhood, more often to invite your child's friends home. In such a sincere atmosphere, the daughter will certainly express a desire to share her thoughts with her mother, ask her for advice.
The necessary foundation for such a relationship is laid in the early childhood of the child.
Mother's behavior in a conflict situation with her daughter
What to do if, despite the friendly relationship, there is a quarrel between mom and daughter? Mom must remember that she, too, was once small, young and therefore it is important to maintain a balance and a calm tone.
Even if there was an emotional breakdown, the woman yelled at her daughter, perhaps even slapped her in the face. In such a situation, the mother should cool down, calm down, sit next to her daughter, and without making excuses, explain the reason for her behavior.
Let's say the conflict arose on the basis of unfulfilled lessons. The mother must patiently explain to the child that school is an everyday job. The same field of activity as for an adult. Perhaps it is worth giving an example from the life of your friends or relatives who deliberately studied well, and then reached certain heights in life.
Some little girls literally have to be persuaded to do something. But mom needs to develop patience and persuasion skills. For example, to explain to your daughter that it is now difficult to study, but the holidays will come and it will be possible to organize a joint vacation trip. Of course, later, mom must keep her word.
The situation is a little different in adolescence. First love, betrayal, friendship - all this causes a huge flurry of emotions in a teenage daughter. Again, mothers should remember themselves.
And how did she react in her youth in such a situation? What kind of relationship did she have with her mother at this age? Her wrong behavior should not be repeated. Or, conversely, you can borrow from your own mother positive psychological techniques in relations with her daughter.
Most importantly, you don’t need to extort secrets from your daughter or pressure her! If before that, mother and daughter had a warm, trusting relationship, the teenager will still talk about his sick problem. But it should be remembered that the regular spying of a mother for her daughter by digging into her phone, on a page on social networks, can destroy friendly relations.
Even if a woman believes that she is acting for the benefit of her daughter, one should not get carried away with such an occupation. An exception, of course, is when a child is suspected of taking psychotropic substances or is involved in any suspicious groups.
Many mothers try to impose their own way of thinking on their maturing daughter. In such a situation, the girl will always strive to get rid of the annoying involvement of her parents. Therefore, it is important for mom to distinguish between the line where her seemingly friendly advice goes beyond what is permissible.
It is also important to know that the longer a mother remains a young soul, the closer she is to her daughter. Can a mother be friends with her teenage daughter? Can. But the daughter's behavior as she grows up is entirely dependent on her mother.
Therefore, here it is necessary to remember - what you sow is what you reap. And you need to sow a strict but kind atmosphere, built on love, respect and trust. Let everyone know these banal phrases, but only in such conditions will a mother be able to be friends with her daughter, and at any age.
