Each of the parents usually asks this question, but often, it happens too late, when it takes a lot of effort and patience to regain trust. Therefore, it is best to avoid mistakes in the early stages and follow the rules that will help you establish a warm and trusting relationship and will be the key to the harmonious development and mental health of your baby.
1) Be a friend to your child. It is necessary to make the child feel that you are always ready to communicate. It is very important for a kid to feel that there is someone next to whom you can always entrust your worries, and just tell what interesting happened to him during the day. He will feel safe if he is sure that you will always listen to him at the right time with due attention. In addition, do not forget to also show your child your trust, share secrets, and ask for his opinion on this or that account.
2) Respect the child's feelings. No matter how insignificant and unreasonable you may think the feelings and problems of the child that he shares with you, you should not laugh or belittle his feelings and fears. Take all his difficulties seriously and help him cope with them. The child will feel that he is understood, and that later he can count on your support and help.
3) Joint pastime. Find common activities with your baby, ask him to help you with cooking or cleaning, tell him that you cannot cope without him, let him feel his need. Conversely, take the initiative to help him in his affairs. Play and walk together whenever possible.
4) Keep your promises. Don't make promises to your child that you can't keep. Otherwise, the baby will feel resentment and disappointment, and such systematic situations will undermine trust and your authority in the eyes of the child. When making a promise, it is better to stipulate some conditions in advance, for example, that your Sunday trip to the park depends not only on you, but also on the weather conditions.
5) And, finally, the main thing when establishing a trusting relationship with a child is to be guided by one basic rule, which is called unconditional acceptance. Undoubtedly accepting a child means recognizing all his advantages, as well as shortcomings, to love him not because he is obedient or talented, but simply because he is. How often, without hesitation, parents use the following appeals to their children: "If you are meek, I will love you", "Do not come to me until you clean the room", but through these phrases the child is directly told that he is accepted conditionally that they will love him only if …
In addition, some of our conditions may turn out to be unbearable for the child, and what then, goodbye parental love? It is impossible for a child to feel the precariousness of your love, that he must somehow deserve it, that if he does something wrong, you can deprive him of the feeling he needs so much. Scientists have long proven that the need for love is one of the fundamental human needs, and its satisfaction is an indispensable condition for the harmonious development of a child. This need finds satisfaction in gentle touches, approving glances, affectionate addresses: "It's so good that you were born with us", "I am happy when we are together", "I love when you are at home."
You might be thinking, "How am I going to be affectionate to him if he hasn’t learned his homework yet / hasn’t gotten an excellent grade / hasn’t cleaned the house yet?” I dare to suggest that most likely, your question is prompted by the belief: "Discipline first, then kind attitude."But here's the paradox, such a position does not lead to anything good, the more we scold the child, the more uncontrollable he becomes, and in response to criticism, censure and reproaches, you get predictable resistance, excuses and bickering. And all why? Because first, good and trusting relationships, and discipline after, and only on the basis of them.
