In the life of every person there comes a time when you have to answer for your actions yourself and you need to make decisions yourself. But not all adults are endowed with this skill. And most often this problem stretches from childhood. Surely everyone has a similar familiar person. Think about whether you want to see your child like this? Is he a successful and respected person, confident in himself? For a child to grow up independently, it is not enough that he just grows up. This should be taught.
You need to look, first of all, at your own requirements for the child. Do you give him the right to choose? Start small: what to eat for breakfast or what socks to wear. Gradually, the scope of issues in which it will be possible to entrust the decision to the child will increase.
But remember that in the beginning it is imperative to give your child options to choose from. Asking the question: “What should you cook for breakfast?”, It is quite possible to receive a cake, candy or something else unusually tasty in the child's opinion as an answer. For several years of a child's life, this question should look something like this: "What kind of porridge do you want for breakfast: buckwheat or oatmeal?" Then the child will learn to choose from the possible options. And later he himself will be able to offer his own adequate version.
The flip side of independence is responsibility for your choice. The child must learn to accept the consequences of his choices. And of course, at first he will need the help of his parents. Otherwise, he will not understand that it is not worth wearing woolen socks in the summer heat, simply because it is hot in them. If you simply prohibit such experiments without explaining the reasons, then it will seem to the child as an unreasonable whim of the parent, nothing more. But after spending half an hour in them, the child will remove and the next time will have greater confidence in the warnings of the parents, because he has already verified their correctness empirically.
It can be very difficult to give independence to a child and not control his parents. But being a parent is hard work. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own peace of mind for the sake of the child. And this is exactly the case. After all, by controlling every step of your beloved child, it is easier to be sure that everything is fine with him, that nothing threatens his health and well-being. But at the same time, it should be remembered that this simply needs to be done for the good of the child. After all, parents will not be able to be with him all his life. And the best thing loving parents can do is prepare him for an independent adult life.
