When parents decide to divorce, their children are most stressed. After all, children disinterestedly and equally love both parents, and they do not understand why they are deprived of their mother or father. The child's world is crumbling. Therefore, it is important for parents who decide to divorce to know what to tell their child about the divorce.
The secret always becomes clear, sooner or later the child will find out why you divorced. It is best if relatives, mother or father, and not acquaintances, friends or neighbors tell him about this.
The child feels a tense atmosphere and suffers if the family constantly swears or quarrels. So it is better to tell your child in advance that you have decided to divorce. Explain to him that you have lost love and understanding in the family, calmly inform him that the only way out is divorce. There is no need to deceive the child and promise that soon dad or mom will return and this is all temporary.
The older the child is, the more information you can trust him. But you shouldn't tell him the whole truth in the smallest detail. You can tell in general terms why you are getting divorced, as well as say that your case is not the only one, and many families face such a problem, there is nothing wrong with that. It is important to let the child understand that if the mother or father leaves the family, they will not stop loving him and will also take care of him in the future. In no case should the child be allowed to think that it was he who caused the divorce, as this can develop a serious inferiority complex.
During the divorce process itself, you need to pay more attention to the child, talk to him, walk, he should feel your love and attitude towards him. You should not scold him if he began to be capricious or misbehave. Psychologists advise parents not to change their usual way of life after a divorce, that is, not to change their place of residence, work, sections, the environment of the child, kindergarten. Otherwise, in addition to divorce, the child will also worry about the change in environment.
Communication with grandparents can be a good help during a divorce, especially if the child has a good relationship with them. In no case should you say bad things about your ex-spouse with a child, do not throw out your emotions, say only good things. But remember that as soon as the child comes to terms with the divorce, his further state of mind will directly depend on how you yourself react to the fact of divorce. Therefore, you need to be as calm and patient as possible to everything.
