How Not To Ruin The Psyche Of Children In Case Of Divorce

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How Not To Ruin The Psyche Of Children In Case Of Divorce
How Not To Ruin The Psyche Of Children In Case Of Divorce

Divorce is a woeful yet common process that many families face. It is even worse if, at the time of the divorce, there are children in the family who observe the parents' relationship and become involuntary participants in the divorce. How can a mother protect her child and his psyche in the event of a divorce?

How not to ruin the psyche of children in case of divorce
How not to ruin the psyche of children in case of divorce

How to help yourself

Rule # 1: time out

The most difficult period after divorce is considered the first 2-3 months. This is a kind of "shock phase" during which a woman can make many mistakes. Therefore, it is important during this period of time to allow yourself to take a small "time-out" and generally refuse to make any important decisions. It is worth letting the psyche and the brain return to a stable position.

Rule # 2: you need to ask for help

Many people, especially in the event of a divorce, have a fear of being weak and unsuccessful, which translates into isolation and closeness. However, it is after the divorce that you should not be afraid to ask for help. It can be simple help - meeting the children, buying something at the store, helping to clean the house.

Rules # 3: caring for health

Mind and body are connected to each other. If the psyche suffers, you need to prepare the body and make a solid foundation out of it. To do this, you need to eat right, remember about the rest and sleep mode and walk as much as possible.

How to help a child

Rule # 1: a husband is not an enemy to a child

Children subconsciously identify themselves as 50 percent mom and 50 percent dad. If mom says that dad is a dishonest and worthless person, they will adopt these words and take them personally. Therefore, all the negative directed at the husband is directed at the children.

Moreover, a child, wanting to please mom and dad, gets into an internal conflict, which in the end can not only embroil the child with one of the parents, but also lead to more serious consequences.

Rule # 2: the child is not to blame

Divorce is something that children perceive as extremely painful. Many of them think that the divorce was due to them. Do not ignore children and their feelings. Also, you should not move away from the painful topic of divorce - it is better to talk to him, and in the conversation focus the child's attention on the fact that he is not to blame.

Rule # 3: Child's Emotional Safety Is Important

Children are those who perceive reality based on parental responses. It is by the way parents react to a certain situation that they will judge its change and attitude towards it. If moms are depressed or, worse, aggression, this will become a point of no return in the child's psyche.

In other words, if mom is feeling bad, it means that she is under threat, but there is no hope that the situation will be resolved. Therefore, it is worth talking to your child more often, focusing on positive and goodwill. In this regard, it is important to convince the child that everything will be fine in his life. It is important to believe it yourself.