You notice that your child is often depressed, has lost all interest in life, stopped smiling and more often prefers loneliness than communication with peers. These are the first signs that your child is having some problems. They can be of different kinds, but in any case they must be solved. And the best way is to talk to your child about them and give him the right advice.
The most common problem is that your child can be offended at school. And as you understand, the child will not tell you about them in any way. What is the right way to give him advice in such a situation?
Do not ask your child directly about this, but observe him. Unwillingness to go to school is the first sign of negative attitudes towards your child. Such a problem must be approached with a cunning one. You can casually tell a story about how you or your classmate was bullied at school, and how you or he got out of the situation.
watch a movie with your child or read a book where there is a main character who was bullied at school. Perhaps in this way you will contribute to solving such a problem. Advise your child to enroll in a section that will allow the child to overcome barriers, but under no pressure do not force him to go where he does not want. There your child will be able to make new friends, become more self-confident. This will help him solve his problems at school.
If this does not help, then it is worth talking to the child directly. Advise your child to change the direction of behavior: after all, if he is bullied, and he reacts to it, this only incites further attacks from the offender. Instead of usual tears, the child may simply not pay attention to the bullying or answer the offender with the words - "So what?" This non-standard behavior will confuse the abuser and help your child control the situation. Try to provide your child with maximum communication with classmates. Allow him to invite them to visit, arrange various holidays. This will help the children become friends.
The second most common problem in children is communication with peers. We can often hear from mothers such words: “It is difficult for my child to communicate with other children. Can you advise what to do? You have never paid attention to how often you yourself communicate with your friends. Possibly, you see them once a month.
Do not be surprised that your child does not communicate with anyone: the habits of the parents take their toll on the child, even if you don’t want to. Change yourself: go with your child to friends, walk with him in the park and make new acquaintances. There are many more reasons for a child's low sociability. But all of them can be solved by following the instructions below. The first thing to do is to allow the child to become responsible, to understand that they are counting on him. It can be unbearable to watch your child act at random. In the end, which is better, only the child himself can decide. Empathy is a direct path to understanding and supporting a child. Whereas pity can only make matters worse. Many are more comfortable with face-to-face communication. Help your child smooth out a relationship with one person.
Be prepared to apply light pressure if your child loses confidence and starts feeling sorry for themselves.
Tell him a life story of how you met this or that person. Never force a child to be friends with someone he does not want to be friends with. If he is under the influence of bad company, you should not immediately insist on ending the relationship. It is better to point out to him the negative qualities of your comrades and leave it to him to decide: to continue communication or not. There are many more situations in which a child will need correct and wise advice.
But you need to be able to guide your child with ease. Take note of the following tips. First of all, ask if the child is willing to accept the advice. If he wants to hear, he will answer "yes", if the answer is "no", then you should not impose. Give him the opportunity to feel in control of the situation. Respect your child's opinion. Before giving your child advice, listen to his point of view, maybe he already has a ready-made way out of this situation. If he is wrong, you can always argue with him. Give your child time to reflect on your words. If he does not answer you, this does not mean that he ignores your words. Always highlight the positive qualities of your child. This will make him stronger and more self-confident. If you focus on his weaknesses, the child will become withdrawn and insecure.
Listen to your child. It is possible that he already has his own solution and does not need your advice. I hope now you can understand your child in the best possible way, his problems, and give the right advice at the right time.
