Adopting a child from an orphanage, many parents understand that he primarily needs love and affection. Of course, parenting problems cannot be completely avoided, but you can still reduce them to a minimum. To do this, you need to find an approach to the child, become his friend and do everything so that he trusts you.
Instructions
Step 1
First of all, understand - this is your child. Develop a parenting program based on trust and love ahead of time. If you do not feel kinship with your baby, try to become a good friend to him. Show as much understanding and kindness as possible. If you can make friends, chances are, the adopted foster will start to consider you parents pretty quickly.
Step 2
Understand that you are unlikely to be able to raise a child the way you would like to see him. Don't expect him to meet all your expectations. Accept him as he is. Only then will the problems of upbringing be insignificant, and the baby will be happy with you.
Step 3
Treat your child as if he were your own. Do not pamper, but do not limit yourself to praise either. If necessary, show character and put in a corner. Never use physical methods of punishment.
Step 4
Raise your child as a moral person, kind and decent. Be a worthy example for him. Never cheat or make empty promises. Try to always keep your word. If you cheat once, you can lose his trust forever. Children don't forget to cheat.
Step 5
Don't hide from your child that you are not real parents. Sooner or later, he will most likely learn everything from "good people." If he asks about it, tell him the truth. Never speak negatively about his real parents, even if they are not very nice people.
Step 6
Understand one thing: no matter at what age you took the child into your family, the negative experience of the past will put pressure on him. No matter how hard you try to be a good parent for him, the trauma will still manifest. Sooner or later, he will ask you why he was abandoned. Your support at this moment is very important, otherwise his inner experiences will come out. They can manifest as bad, rejecting, or provocative behavior. For example, a child may start to use foul language, suck a finger, swing, pee, or come up with something more "original" just to cause rejection of himself.
Step 7
There is also another extreme. A child who does not receive the proper care of his parents in infancy can be too gullible. He easily goes to all adults in his arms and calls them moms and dads. Such a kid is passive, agrees with everyone and does not get attached to anyone. It should be taken into account when raising that such children find it difficult to establish close contacts and permanent relationships.
Step 8
If a child seeks to push everyone away from him, provokes you to leave him, or leaves home, be sure to contact a psychologist.
