People meet, fall in love, build relationships. But at some stage, everything went wrong, and now the family liner crashes. Can a marriage be saved? How and when is the family destroyed? And, most importantly, what to do?
The beginning of a relationship and the first months of life together are accompanied by love euphoria. Partners are tuned in to each other, show sensitivity, compliance. And here I would begin to build a solid foundation for the future family. But many rely on fate, that relationships will build themselves, and there is no need to work on them. And why, after all, and so everything is fine?
But already with the first difficulties, the love fog begins to dissipate, and the idyll is threatened. Small domestic squabbles, mutual grievances and reproaches constantly undermine the family boat. A marriage collapses gradually, unnoticed passing through several destructive stages. And if the situation is not reversed on one of them, then the couple will not have a joint happy future.
Mutual irritation
This stage is also called "lapping". Everyone has their own habits, upbringing, attitude to order and money. Family roles and responsibilities are distributed. At this stage, doubts arise about the partner and their own choice, dissatisfaction with each other.
If the couple has enough understanding, then they begin to meet each other, try to restore the idyll that was at the beginning of the relationship. And this is the best development scenario. Other couples prefer to leave everything as it is, continuing to accumulate resentment and irritation in themselves.
And the worst option - the couple scatter in search of a better fate. But the original problems remain and are favorably transferred to the new family. Therefore, there is a high risk of a repeat scenario.
Aggression and closeness
The wife ceases to see the ideal in her spouse, does not feel support and protection, and therefore begins to look for her in someone else. For example, it can be a father, of course, his improved version, brother, ex-boyfriend, boss. It seems to her that this invented ideal would make her truly happy. And she closes herself off from her husband, distances herself.
The man is very sensitive to these changes. He still cannot accurately formulate his feelings, does not understand what this woman needs. In return, he broadcasts aggression and irritation, which only aggravates everything. Relationships lose their openness and depth.
The only way to change the situation is to start talking. Do not be afraid to talk about your own grievances, but not as a claim, worries, expectations and fears. Speak openly and honestly, learn to be flexible.
Lies and greed
A man will never invest financially and emotionally in someone else's woman. If on the part of the wife there is a feeling of rejection, rejection, constant comparisons with another man are heard, then she ceases to be dear and close.
The man becomes greedy. In response, the wife begins to lie. First, in the little things, understating something or slightly underestimating, then completely "pumps" the skill of double-entry bookkeeping. This provokes a man to be even more stingy, every penny is taken under personal control. In response, the woman becomes even more resourceful.
How to get out of this situation? Again, start talking. Open, no matter how unpleasant it may be. And be sure to thank for what is already there or done. Sincere gratitude will be everything that is beautiful in a person, and encourages you to be even better, to achieve more, to try for a partner.
Envy and cruelty
If the situation develops according to an unfortunate scenario, then further scandals are provoked. Not just quarrels, but ugly scandals, when a couple is not shy in expressions, trying to sting as painfully as possible.
The husband begins to raise his hand against his wife and children, to drink. The woman shifts her attention to the environment outside the family: friends, neighbors, work colleagues, etc. Gossips, speaks nasty things, plays dirty tricks. She lives the lives of others, and is very jealous of them.
In this situation, both sides consider themselves victims. The wife lives with a monster and a villain, and her husband lives with a mercantile bitch. But even at this stage of destruction, the relationship can be saved. It is necessary to reconsider your own shortcomings, to admit them. And therefore, learn to forgive them to others, realizing that a person is not perfect. You need to learn to see the good, make concessions, help. A quick denouement will not work. The more time has passed, the more difficult it is to "rewind" everything back. But if the feelings have not faded away and there is a desire to return everything, there is a chance. But you just need to start with yourself, and not try to remake your partner.
Family visibility
If the divorce did not happen at the previous stage, then the family is preserved here. Rather, the visibility of a family. A woman is afraid of loneliness and clings to a hateful husband, endures unworthy behavior, forgives violence and drunkenness. The man, on the other hand, feels like a failure and is often deeply depressed. Almost all friends have moved away, and the spouses are forced to constantly spend all the time together. They cling to each other, sinking even more into this quagmire of complete degradation. It is almost impossible to change the situation.
Did you recognize yourself at one of the stages? It's time to stop and save the relationship. The sooner you take responsibility for your own marriage, the sooner harmony and trust will return.
