Both parents and recognized specialists often have diametrically opposed opinions on many issues of raising children. So views differ on whether to tell the child that he is the best.
Sweet lie or bitter truth … Golden mean
It is up to the parents to decide whether or not to tell their child that he is the best. However, in this matter, as in many others related to the upbringing of children, it is very important to observe a sense of proportion and soberly assess the situation. For example, praising a carelessly executed drawing or applique, parents expose their child to several risks at once: firstly, after entering school, the child will have to face a more adequate and critical assessment of their efforts, and secondly, the opinion of adult members may cease to be authoritative. In the most unfavorable combination of circumstances, a child, having fallen from heaven to earth, can quite rightly accuse the parents that they are to blame for some of his problems.
When deciding whether to tell your child that he is the best, it is important to monitor his reaction. If the question of how "good" or even "better than others" is, is too acute, you should think about changing your tactics.
On the other hand, parents and other family members must provide a "safe back" for the child in a variety of circumstances. Even if something does not work out, it is unacceptable, on the contrary, to tell the kid that he is "the worst" or even "stupid". As modern Western psychologists who specialize in relationships with the younger generation recommend, any criticism should be combined with praise. One has only to think about it, and almost always you can find a way to "sweeten the pill." Did the kid not immediately learn how to tie shoelaces or dressing, can not keep up with half an hour or even an hour? Before scolding, you need to remember how much time the mother or father devoted to the child to master this or that skill? And then, gently remind the child - after all, he copes so well with some tasks. Only yesterday my daughter helped her mother sweep the floor and collect newspapers - no doubt such a smart girl, if she practices a little, will easily learn to do something on her own.
"All kinds of mothers are needed," and children?
According to a number of experts, it is much more effective for parents to say not that their “child is the best in the world”, but that under any circumstances the baby (and even more so a teenager!) Will be “the best for their loved ones”. So the growing child will again be able to avoid painful sensations after failures, and will also be insured against the fact that, due to any mistakes, parents may change their minds about him.
The child needs to be praised and taught to enjoy victories. However, it is no less important to teach the child to overcome difficulties and experience failure, because only the one who does nothing at all is not mistaken.
At the same time, the victories and achievements of the child are very important, they need to be consolidated. Did a son or daughter take first place in a competition or win a prize in a sports competition? It is the duty of the parents to express their pride in the child, to share the child's joy, and also to help him not to be satisfied with what has already been achieved. And in such situations, it is quite appropriate to say once again about who really is "the best girl in the world" or "the nicest boy in the world." Psychologists also recommend that parents try to focus on their feelings. That is, a mother, satisfied with the child's success, may well say the same thing, but in a different form - for example, "when I saw your tidied room (five for a quarter, etc.), I felt like the happiest mother in the world."
