Mutual love is not so much the happy ending of a fairy tale as the beginning. A woman in love often spoils a relationship without noticing it herself. How to keep a man's love? This question has worried women for centuries.
It is difficult to say what needs to be done so that love does not fade away and burns with the same strength for years. But the critical mistakes that kill feelings are worth discussing. Moreover, their women in love do with offensive regularity.
Victim of love
A common mistake in relationships is the desire to oblige a man, tie him up with the help of victims. Women are sometimes ready to sacrifice “on the altar of love” relationships with friends, relatives, their own career, their usual interests, money, real estate, trying to “give the last” in exchange for “eternal love”. Selflessness and self-sacrifice looks beautiful in novels, but is not suitable for life, since it harms both. Do not get hung up on victims, otherwise you will not notice how you make your loved one a debtor. "I am everything to you, and you …" - such a principle of relations will kill tender feelings and turn life together into serving a duty. A man does not need sacrifice, he will not appreciate it. On the contrary, it will become a burden in the relationship, and the feeling of constant awkwardness will kill the passion. The hypnotic phrase "I gave everything to you" will sound differently: "I lost everything because of you." And how much is the relationship in which people live with you "out of gratitude", then "out of pity", and by and large - out of a sense of duty?
The ideal female
Having completely devoted time to pleasing your beloved man, you will automatically lag behind life and gradually become uninteresting to a man. Attachment to the body means a lot for a man, but if there is nothing to talk about with a life partner, and all she knows is to cook deliciously and give pleasure in bed, a man becomes bored next to the predictable, familiar to the smallest detail and three hundred times studied "Half". Without developing, without devoting time to yourself, losing intelligence between work, kitchen and bedroom, you will become uninteresting to your man. Improve yourself, acquire new skills, expand your erudition. The more multifaceted a woman is, the more she is interested in her man, surprising him with new facets of her personality.
Part-time mom
Overprotectiveness is another mistake that emasculates feelings. Try not to do men's work, do not solve problems for your man. Be patient - the man will figure it out himself. Even if he "got" you a little childish - give him time to learn to be a man, responsible for his own actions and remembering his responsibilities towards both of you.
Depriving him of his independence, surrounding him with total care, you will imperceptibly turn into a “mommy”. And your beloved will either become a drone, resigned to the loss of dignity, or - he will find himself an "outlet" where he will feel strong, confident and responsible. Or simply - a male, a "beast". It all depends on the degree of intelligence.
You should not flirt with "musi-pusi", this is not a child, but an adult with whom you sleep "like an adult." For a full-fledged man, such a "lisp" will cause rejection and awkwardness. A man who is called "kitten", "baby", "baby doll" will start to get bored or resist.
Of course, if the chosen one is “weird”, then this fuss-game of “mother and son” will suit him. But most men are not predisposed to such games, they see it as vulgarity, and for many it causes disgust, which even negatively affects potency. It is good if a man in love will say about it out loud right away, and if he endures and keeps silent - in the future it is fraught with an explosion of indignation, after which it is not easy to improve relations.
Home barbie
Many women are overly passionate about their appearance. Do you think your bodily irresistibility guarantees the safety of passion? You are wrong. Everything is boring.
Men don't like bright makeup, especially at home. And also - drastic changes. Changing the image of a blonde to a brunette, you run the risk of feeling cold and alienated.
You shouldn't tell everyone about the secrets of your diet. And even more so - not to subordinate everyone around to your "vegetarianism" or diet. Normal men get tired of talking about kilocalories and fat burners, and if you decide to cook pumpkin porridge instead of roast just because you yourself are on a diet, do not be surprised if your loved one is caught in a cafe in a pleasant company with wine, barbecue and young ladies. Your diet is your own business, it should be followed discreetly.
A loving man will not notice 4-5 extra pounds or a couple of wrinkles. But the slight vindictiveness that will inevitably appear as a result of such zeal will cause quite understandable irritation. Take care of yourself without showing your success in front of the person for whom you are doing it. And if you constantly demand an assessment of your efforts, there is a chance that he will stop noticing the big difference between a model from a glossy magazine and you. And if he does, it will not be in your favor.
She-fool or Sherlock Holmes in a skirt
Afraid of losing your loved one, experiencing understandable pricks of jealousy, in no case occupy his personal space. Of course, by regularly scanning his computer, phone and shaking up his pockets, you will ensure that he begins to hide from you what he previously happily shared. And the point here is not in secret romances, but in humiliation with distrust, which men rarely forgive. Moreover, it is precisely such actions that will most likely push him towards the novel "on the side".
Give each other freedom. Do not forget about your hobbies, that sometimes it’s nice to meet with friends, to give freedom to a loved one - perhaps he also wants to meet friends or just be alone. By depriving a man of freedom, a woman risks being deceived.
Dodgy men quickly learn to "bypass the cordons", begin to cheat on trifles and on a grand scale. It is good if the matter is limited to "going AWOL" to friends "for a beer" or fishing. But more often such a forced habit of receiving a "breath of fresh air" by deception leads to secret love affairs.
Less adventurous men, in retaliation for taking away the right to personal freedom, will demand from you the same unfreedom and the same right to control your life. Having achieved that both will be forced to sit with each other "on a leash", do not delude yourself that you have achieved your goal. You don't have to expect sincere, full-fledged joy from such a relationship. A little time will pass, and the man will begin to avenge the lost ease and openness in the relationship. Nagging will begin, or even worse: you will be jealously controlled, forbidden to do this and that - in general, to show tyranny.
But before sticking the label of "tyrant" on the forehead of a once loved one who trusted and counted on reciprocal trust, it is worth remembering that "sama-fool" is you, since it started with the conditions set for the man. And he just brought the game to its logical conclusion.
Living space of love
When we lose the ability to give each other joy, love fades, fades away, and then all our shortcomings become noticeable. The annoyance of the bleak atmosphere plays a cruel joke: small flaws are perceived as big flaws, because they are considered scrupulously and meticulously. And there is nothing to be surprised at, because by and large, people who have studied each other, living together and forcing each other to follow strict rules, there is nothing to consider.
Of course, common children save, joint housing, in which from time to time it is necessary to make repairs together, a dog that binds by the fact that it needs to be fed and walked … But all this will not replace the experienced love enthusiasm for each other, they will both be lacking.
Love is not only about sex, shared budget, and shared living space. This is a living world of sensations and common interests, where lovers meet as two intellects, two souls, two bodies. This is co-creation!
Create a common intellectual, emotional and physical space: play joint games, go hiking in nature, disconnecting from everything that separates you (smartphones, laptops, mobile communications). Create albums with photos that you can return to more than once together and revive the feelings that excite both at that time. Give each other small gifts, do not hesitate to express love with words and deeds.. Read interesting books, be creative - and no matter what. It can be your own blog, poetry, a picture painted by one of you, but makes the other "gasp", or wood crafts, or fabulous curtains in a naive country style, made by your hands and hung in the bedroom. Look each other in the eyes, admire together nature or what you have done - and do not follow each other. And then it will be difficult to spoil your relationship even for an obvious ill-wisher.
