It is generally accepted that divorce is sad, messy and hopeless. It is almost impossible to come to an agreement, you have to fight all the time. If divorce cannot be avoided, adults should not hide their heads in the sand and pretend to be a happy family. Have the courage to explain to your child that, no matter what, you love him, and he will not lose one of the parents. After all, we all know deep down in our hearts that most of all a child needs the love of two parents. Yes, sometimes it is not easy to agree.
What can help
Try to separate roles. You are now ex-spouses … and real parents. Don't mix emotions. The fact that your other half is not the right match for you does not mean that he is a bad parent. In addition, whether we like it or not, the spouse also loves his child very much.
Do not abuse negative emotions and do not slide into stereotypes when men are convinced that all women are bitches and demand money, and women - that all men are scoundrels and don’t give money. And never forget: there are no ex-parents.
Be careful and cautious when dealing with your ex. After all, when you talk with a business partner, you choose words, facial expressions, meeting place, time, clothes. The situation with the ex-spouse is no different. You are already divorced and there is only one common area left between you - your child. You both want him to be successful, so work hard on it.
What to lean on
Strange as it may seem, but the legislation. The Family Code sets out the obligations of parents towards children. Dissolution of marriage does not remove these laws in any way, but simply transforms their implementation in some moments. After all, we calmly follow the rules of the road and do not wait until we are forced to comply with them through the courts. What makes us wait until we are forced to comply with the requirements of the law in relation to our own child? What prevents us from fulfilling them voluntarily, while maintaining our dignity.
You can roughly calculate how much your child needs for a normal life per month, and bear your share of the costs without waiting for a lawsuit. The issues of upbringing are more complicated, but even here a compromise can be found and an agreement can be reached. Be adults, responsible parents. It's not easy, it takes effort, but your child will appreciate it.
