The divorce process is very painful not only for adults, but also for children. The unformed psyche of a child often simply cannot understand and accept why mom and dad will live separately. And how to understand by what criteria the adults will choose with whom the child will stay. The complexity of this solution is overwhelming. This is a daunting task for both adults and toddlers. And here you need to competently approach this issue, without unnecessary tantrums and principles, to find a compromise that will allow you to explain the whole situation to the child in a form understandable to him.
So, the main topics that you need to understand and be able to explain to the baby:
1. Who will the child live with, with the father or mother? You need to decide first among themselves, come to a mutual agreement and only then inform the baby about it. There is no need to tell the child that dad (mom) is bad, that he (she) abandons us and does not love.
2. When, how long, and what rights will a parent who will not live with the child have? Again, these questions are adults, they are also discussed between them, and the child needs to be told that he can see dad (mom) whenever he wants and as much as he needs. It would be nice to load the child with sections, circles and the like, so that he has as little time as possible to think about adult problems.
There is no need to aggravate the already stressful state of the child by unnecessary clarification of the relationship with him. The child is already deprived of a normal upbringing and habitual way of life. The consequences are still unavoidable. Therefore, it is worth minimizing the risk of injuring the child's psyche as much as possible.
One of the very first stresses a child experiences after a divorce is how to re-adapt in a new life. Girls tend to become withdrawn and boys uncontrollable. Of course, there are also profound forms of stress that will emerge in a child's adult life, such as whether it is worth loving, if there is fidelity, and why starting a family.
Often, children blame themselves for the divorce of their parents, the little ones become capricious, and the older ones even develop bad habits. It is imperative to surround the child with attention and care, talk to him and make sure that meetings with the departed parent are as frequent as possible.
Of course, it must be admitted that in some situations, divorce is necessary for both parents and children. Sometimes, it turns out that it is more comfortable and easier for a child to live with one parent in peace than in a complete family, where tension and scandals reign.
