The 20th century was marked by a phenomenon known as the "sexual revolution". The attitude towards sex has changed - it is no longer viewed only as a part of marriage. A new type of relationship between a man and a woman was born - sex without mutual obligations.
In the modern world, there is a widespread belief that sex is the basis of relations between the sexes. Even in marriage, it remains the basis, and everything else - living together, household, psychological attachment - these are only additions to it, there will be no sex - all this will not save the marriage from destruction. With this approach, it seems natural to give up everything that is secondary, completely basing the relationship on sex.
Psychology of "free" relationships
Most often, a man is the initiator of a relationship in which sex is at the forefront. The woman agrees to this, trying to keep him near her at least at such a price, because she sees that she needs him more than he needs her. And even agreeing to "sex without mutual obligations", a woman deep down hopes that this relationship will develop over time into something more.
Hope turns out to be in vain. Sex is the satisfaction of a physiological need that is inherent in animals, and if the human feeling of attachment was not born with sexual attraction, it will not be born again. Having become accustomed to seeing a sexual partner as a "means of satisfaction", it is already difficult to see him as a person.
Communication with a partner comes down to pleasant physical sensations, which tend to become boring. When all the poses have been tried (in fact, there are not so many of them), you will want novelty, but it is impossible to discover something new in a partner in such a relationship. Well, if this happens at the same time with both, then the separation will be relatively painless, but more often it happens to a man - and he goes to look for a new source of pleasure, while a woman can only suffer alone. However, the seeker of pleasures will not be entertained forever: youth leaves, an aged man ceases to be interesting for young attractive women, and he has not created a family that could support him in old age.
Relationship breakdown options
One of the most dramatic situations is a serious illness of one of the partners. A person who is bedridden or disabled for a long time can no longer be a source of sexual pleasure, and if nothing else binds people, the relationship comes to an end. It happens that even families cannot withstand such a test. But if the family can still survive under such circumstances, then a couple bound exclusively by sex can never. As a result, a person experiences a difficult breakup and remains alone exactly when he needs love and moral support most of all.
Another overwhelming test for such a couple is pregnancy. People whose relationships are based solely on sex are not going to have children, but no contraceptive is 100% guaranteed. Pregnancy bursts into the life of such a couple like a bolt from the blue. A woman may perceive this as a hope for the transition of relations to a new level, but rarely such hopes come true: if from the very beginning a man perceived a woman as a "sex toy", he will not want to have any responsibilities in the future. There are three options: abortion, with the physical and psychological consequences of which you will have to live, abandoning the child or raising him without a father. It's even hard to say which is the lesser evil.
In contrast to a sex-only relationship, a non-sex relationship can be very strong. This phenomenon is known as "white marriage". An example of such a relationship is the marriage of Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich - brother of Alexander III - and Elizabeth Feodorovna, Princess of Hesse-Darmstadt. By mutual agreement, the spouses lived like brother and sister, but their affection for each other was exceptional: the husband wore a medallion with a portrait of his wife at the age of one, and Elizabeth, at the age of 16, in one of her letters expressed regret that she had to "split up" with her husband by going to different events.
Of course, white marriage is a feat accessible to few, but it serves as a brilliant proof that sex is secondary in human relationships, while intimacy is primary.
