In many respects, the life of parents and children in the period when schoolchildren are entering a transitional age is complicated not so much by the emerging changes as by the fear of the former. Fears associated with the upcoming puberty set the parents up to the fact that they will have a streak of quarrels, rudeness and rudeness. But in fact, this is far from always the case, and it is enough to stop being afraid in advance, but just to live every day of your current life with your child.
Instructions
Step 1
Remember the basic rule of parenting a teenager: he is also human. He has already come to this world as a person with a certain character and inclinations, and you should not try to sculpt someone out of him. He already exists, and you can only show him the various possibilities of this world. Influence him, first of all, not with words, but with your example: let him see through you what it means to be kind and generous, why well-read is welcomed in society, etc. Pay attention to yourself first.
Step 2
Force yourself to accept the inevitability of growing up. A teenager needs a certain amount of independence, which can no longer be replaced by the allocation of responsibility for the conduct of some affairs in the house. He needs more - access to social space. Get ready for the fact that during this period he may look for authority in other places. You only have one way to remain a person that your child respects and wants to be equal to, and this way has already been described above: to set an example by your own actions.
Step 3
Trust your child. You know how and when he tells a lie, and be guided only by this knowledge. Don't try to invent new suspicions. Delayed? Yes, you were worried, but didn't this happen to you when you were young? Avoid showing how hurt and bad you are, do not lash out at him with abuse. Any violent emotions will only lead to the fact that a teenager, whose nervous system is especially sensitive at this age, will begin to defend himself and withdraw into himself. Look for ways to calmly resolve the conflict: share your concerns with him, but do not dump him, talk about your experiences, but do not press them.
Step 4
Believe that he is really an adult and give him the opportunity to show it. Then he will not have to resort to methods that actually demonstrate the child's immaturity rather than adulthood. Feeling independent and adult, he will not go to smoke just to prove something.
Step 5
Don't educate a teenager, this is the biggest mistake you can make. Help him get to know this world, but do not try to train him, lay down patterns of behavior on him. And do not divide his life into rigid frames: without getting hung up on general statements, concentrate on the individual process of becoming a personality in your family.
