You are not silent when you feel good and when you feel bad. You do not hide feelings or emotions. In which case, you strive to immediately clarify. You are frank with him and expect the same from him. What is he like? He sometimes talks about what is good for him, but never about what is bad. He loves clarity in everything, but expects you to bring it. He appreciates your frankness, but he himself prefers to be silent and wait for everything to be resolved by itself. Teach your man to speak using several techniques.
Instructions
Step 1
Control yourself. A screaming, stupid woman, confident in her righteousness and trying to hammer her confidence into everyone around, is a natural disaster. Unable to resist him, the man tries to hide in every possible way, in this case, closing and keeping silent. And if one is thirsty for a fight in order to dot the “i's”, and the other escapes the blow, an insurmountable barrier arises that prevents the settlement of the conflict. One is overlaid on the other, leading to a complete lack of understanding.
Step 2
Speak in a calm, even voice about the subject of the discussion. Be as affectionate as possible, even in those moments when you don't feel like it at all.
Step 3
State only the essence of the problem, without being distracted by extraneous controversial issues that have ever taken place in your relationship. Explain yourself in a language that is understandable for your man, otherwise the whole conversation will go down the drain. Consider one feature of the male mindset: if he does not understand something that you are trying to convey, he immediately interprets all your passionate speech in the way that suits him best, and almost immediately begins to sacredly believe in his own righteousness. Don't give him that opportunity.
Step 4
Do not blame your man for anything, otherwise you may again scare him away from participating in solving the problem. Remember that your goal is only to express your own feelings about this or that occasion and thereby cause it to respond.
Step 5
Let's understand to your man that you have finished and brought your speech to its logical conclusion, so that he knows - now the word is his. If you notice that he is not ready to enter into a conversation right there - do not rush to answer. Give him time to think a little and formulate his own thoughts.
Step 6
When a man, having finally collected his thoughts, decides to speak - in no case interrupt him. Listen very carefully, try to discern his good intentions in all this and do not find fault with every word. Make him feel that because of what he said, you began to understand his point of view too (even if this is not entirely true). Let him see for himself in practice that thoughtful silence is not a solution to a problem, as opposed to a mature constructive conversation.
