For some reason it happens that it is very easy for us to speak words of reproaches and discontent. We sometimes do not even think when we throw some comments to our friends or relatives. But we leave the words of gratitude for later. "I will tell you about it later, then, when there is an opportunity."
When we act in this way, it turns out that our loved ones always hear from us only grumbles, reproaches and discontent. And very rarely they hear words of praise, approval, gratitude.
Try to change this system. Yes, it is difficult right away, after many years of family life, to take and start thanking. Start small. Say thank you to your spouse when he buys something tasty at the store.
You can gradually come to this practice. Every evening, before going to bed, say words of gratitude for all the pleasant things that your loved one has done. It doesn't matter what they were - some small joys or something really worthwhile.
Say thanks as soon as they come to your mind. But what about the comments? You don't need to keep them in yourself. But expressing them at once is not the case!
Why? Because in the heat of anger, you can say too much. Your loved one will begin to answer you, and a quarrel is assured. Leave the conversation for later. For example, for the evening, or the next day. You will have time to think about how to gently convey your concerns.
After all, if you start swearing right away, your soul mate will ignore everything. And he will think that you are just "nagging" that you are not in the mood. And he will probably not understand the meaning of what has been said, and the next time he will make the same mistake, not having understood anything.
And if your gentle instructions are spoken at the right time, your half will at least listen. And he will mentally thank you for giving you the opportunity to correct his mistake without causing a scandal.
The family situation will begin to change. Your spouse will often hear nice words from you. Thus, it will be easier for him or her to listen to your instructions. It is very difficult to start living like this, but start small and you will succeed. Gratitude can melt anyone, even a heart of stone.
