There is almost no family life without conflict. Only in a family where partners are indifferent to each other, conflicts do not arise at all. However, the clarification of the relationship is unpleasant for many, and therefore the question "How to avoid conflict in family communication?" regularly ask psychologists.
Instructions
Step 1
First of all, two are responsible for the conflict. Are you able to answer only for yourself? Remember the rule that you need to start with yourself. Let go of the thought of re-educating your partner. Yes, you can develop certain behavioral skills if you influence your partner correctly and systematically. But personality change after preschool age is very difficult, and sometimes dangerous for relationships. For example, a bored husband who is furious about things in the wrong place can be taught to be a little messy on your own desk, calling the mess the term "controlled chaos". Only here, in general, you will not eradicate intolerance to chaos.
Step 2
You need to start working on yourself by forgiving all insults. Deep and sincere. Because old grievances are the basis for the formation of new ones. The insult should be wept out, best of all while taking a shower. Imagine that pain comes out of you with tears and is washed away by jets of water. You need to forgive not only your loved one, but also yourself.
Step 3
Then you need to consider what is most often the cause of the conflict. You need to describe your vision of the last conflict in a detached manner. For example, Masha was offended because Vasya said that his mother cooks pancakes better. Not "I" and "he", but just like that, from the outside. By using names, you will be calmer about the situation.
Step 4
Next, you need to analyze your motives and your partner. Perhaps you are deliberately provoked in order to rip off the anger "brought" from work, or maybe you yourself unconsciously want vivid emotions at home. If one of the partners wants to throw out their emotions, you need to try to find another way to discharge. For example, systematically go to boxing with her husband, or play football together, or periodically arrange pillow battles, accompanied by good jokes. The stock of emotions is finite, so after emotional release you will not want to swear, and the emotionally intense time spent together will raise the relationship to a new level.
Step 5
Finally, use a method that avoids many conflicts at the root. This is a special written agreement that needs to be drawn up between partners. It regulates many aspects of behavior. Write down what is acceptable; what is strictly prohibited and what is especially welcome in your relationship. All points must be agreed and accepted by mutual agreement.
Step 6
So, you need to formulate the reasons and solve the most painful issues through discussion. A friendly dialogue will help you get to the bottom of the root causes of problems and solve them. In the conflict, everyone loses.
