The effectiveness of parents' methods of combating smoking and drinking alcohol by adolescents depends on understanding the motivation for such behavior of children. Therefore, in my article I focus on the needs that adolescents satisfy by lighting a cigarette or drinking alcohol.
In adolescence, or even earlier, some children begin to try smoking cigarettes and drinking alcoholic beverages. Of course, not everyone is engaged in this, but the majority. No matter how much their parents scold, no matter how forbidden, most often everything turns out to be ineffectual. Instead of stopping, children begin to hide it even more carefully. So what should parents do in such a situation?
Before taking action on a child, it is important to understand what prompted your child to take these actions. There may be several reasons for this behavior in a teenager. At the heart of each reason is one or another need, which the teenager decided to satisfy through smoking and drinking alcohol.
1. The need to appear adult
I think it’s no secret for most parents that in the minds of children, smoking and drinking are attributes of adulthood. Such an idea in the minds of children is formed by the parents themselves. After all, this is how they explain to children: you are still small for this, so when you become an adult, then do what you want. The teenager understands perfectly well that he is not yet an adult. He is not able to support himself financially, is not able to solve many problems, does not have the opportunity to live separately from his parents. But, at the same time, he no longer considers himself a child. He wants to seem like an adult. And smoking and drinking is exactly what makes him seem like an adult very easily.
2. The need for emancipation
Among other things, nihilism inherent in adolescents, a tendency to protest against all prohibitions, to defend their right to be an independent person. In this, his tendency of emancipation (separation) from his parents, a way out from under their influence, is realized. Adolescents can use their attempts to smoke and drink in ways to fulfill this need. Doing this in spite of the prohibitions, he just realizes this, characteristic of this age period, direction.
3. The need to establish communication with peers
The third reason pushing a teenager to smoke and drink alcohol is a change in leading activity characteristic of this age. Leading activity in psychology is the main activity that a person is engaged in at a particular period of his development. In early childhood it is a game, at the elementary school age - learning, and in adolescence - communication with peers.
To be accepted into this or that group of teenagers, to become a member of it, if among those who are included in it there are smokers, the teenager will most likely start smoking too. You smoke - "it means your own, one of us", do not smoke - "you are a stranger to us." A request to treat a teenager with a cigarette or, conversely, to treat it to it, can act as a reason for the emergence of contact, initiating a dialogue, demonstrating that "I am the same as you, I am one of you."
4. The need to gain credibility in a peer group
Among other things, smoking can for a teenager act as an attribute of demonstrating his hierarchical position in a peer group: “I smoke, so I am older than you, I am more important than you, I have more rights and privileges in the group than you”.
5. The need to be included in the "adult" category
Another important condition for starting smoking and drinking alcohol is the presence of such habits among significant adults: relatives, neighbors, teachers … - smoking and drinking. In order to consider himself included in the circle of these significant adults, he does not have to do it in their presence.
6. The need to be like a significant adult
The next factor that can influence the adolescent's introduction to smoking and drinking is imitation of idols, favorite characters (films, games, books …). Identifying himself with him, he adopts not only the demeanor, slang, clothing style of this character, but also his habits.
7. The need to get out of parental pressure
Rarely, but still there is a situation when a child begins to smoke in order to protest the overly strict parenting. Usually he does this demonstratively, since he is driven by the desire to show that he is not going to obey their demands.
8. The need to attract the attention of indifferent parents
Also, a not often encountered factor is the adolescent's desire to attract the attention of parents, who, in contrast to the case described above, on the contrary, do not notice their child, do not pay attention to him, do not devote time to him. Starting to smoke or drink, knowing that these habits are frowned upon, he waits for the reaction of his parents. And for him, living in a state of communicative and emotional deprivation, it does not matter what kind of interest his parents will show in him, the main thing is that they finally notice his presence in their life, come into contact with him.
I have listed the basic needs of adolescents that they satisfy through the introduction to alcohol and smoking. These needs are the factors influencing the behavior of adolescents, the reasons for the initiation of smoking and alcohol. As you can see, the reasons can be different. Each of the teenagers has their own. And, accordingly, for parents, before starting a campaign to combat these addictions of their child, it is important to find out what prompted him to such actions.
The needs that push adolescents to smoke and drink alcohol are, at the same time, resource bases for preventing adolescents from joining these habits. The task of the parents in this case is to show their teenager that the child can fulfill each of the above needs without cigarettes and alcohol.
Love your children! Help your teens become mature personalities! Be happy!
