The transition from childhood to adolescence is accompanied by some distance from parents. This is a natural process called separation. The child begins to take shape as a person, acquires individuality and a sense of his own "I". This is often accompanied by conflicts and psychological problems in the family.
Parents must be ready for a teenager to gain independence, must support and help their child in every possible way. Adults are not always ready to accept and understand these changes. The teenager begins to ask questions: "Why am I?", "Who am I?" He understands that the exit into the world of adults should be carried out by a more definite person than "the child of his parents."
The teenager should start trying on different new roles, different models of behavior. This must be done in society, leaving the family. But the child must be firmly convinced that the parents provide him with reliable rear and protection. That is, after trying on a role and failing, a teenager can come back and recover to find something new for himself.
It turns out that a strong healthy family gives the child more chances for independence. If a teenager plays roles that are unusual for him within the family, it will be more difficult to get rid of dependence on his parents. The child-nanny, the child-conciliator, the child-educator cannot so easily leave the family, in this case it will begin to collapse.
Parents can unconsciously begin to blackmail a teenager by exacerbating their illnesses, phrases "nobody needs you there", "no one will love you as much as we do", "you cannot survive in a cruel world." These words prevent an adult from getting rid of emotional dependence on parents, he will not be able to build a full-fledged family with his chosen one.
If the separation is successful, and this is a great merit of mom and dad, emotional separation leads to communication on an equal footing. A teenager participates in conversations and family affairs as a full-fledged person, he is more open and frank, he knows for sure that he can ask for help at any time.
If you notice signs of fear of the outside world, strong dependence on the opinion of your parents, do not be silent, discuss this problem with your family. Explain to your loved ones and loved ones that you are very grateful for the care, but you need to start living on your own. Do not in any way make claims or blame your parents. Consider your words to rule out the very possibility of causing hurt.
Be sure to talk about your love for mom and dad, your hope for their help and support, and your desire to accept their advice. After all, the separation of an already grown child from his parents does not at all mean that their relationship is terminated and does not exclude the possibility of mutual assistance.