Older people sometimes grumble, become irritable and intolerant. We stop recognizing our parents and do not understand how to communicate with them. Psychologists have long formulated several simple rules, following which, you can smooth out the rough edges in your relationship.
Avoid lack of communication
Elderly people acutely feel the transience of life, worry that they are no longer needed by anyone, that they cannot be useful as they used to. The lack of communication with such a state of mind is extremely destructive for both the psyche and the health of the elderly. Visit them at least once a week, call them - every day! Ask more and listen. Doing so will instill in your loved ones the confidence that they still have an important place in your life.
Remember that an elderly person behaves a lot like a child due to hormonal changes. His grumbling and negative behavior, like the crying of children, is a signal of trouble. Don't get angry or annoyed in return. It's just that your old man is feeling bad (lack of communication, unwell, etc.), and your help is needed.
Consult often
Make it a rule to ask older parents for advice, whether you follow it or do it your way. By consulting with your parents, you let them know that their opinion matters to you. This is an easy way to boost your older person's self-esteem and make them feel like they are part of your life.
Maintain a sense of meaning
Aging people are very worried that they are no longer needed by anyone and cannot be useful. Find something for your elderly parents that will be up to them: ask them to take their grandchildren to school and to clubs, check lessons, cook dinner for the whole family a couple of times a week. Busy people have less time for blues, anxiety, and criticism.
Follow the speech
Seniors, like children, are very sensitive to tone of speech. Therefore, they so often take offense at seemingly ordinary phrases. It is important to choose the right tone when communicating. For example, instead of “I can’t speak now, I’ll call you back,” it’s better to say: “Mommy, I’m very busy right now, I’ll call you back when I’m free.” It is better to end every conversation, even not the most pleasant one, with the phrase: "I love you very much!" Such phrases, like suggestion, will work for the future, relieving anxiety and nervousness in your loved ones.
Elderly manipulators: how to behave?
Sometimes older parents, out of fear of loneliness and the loss of the main place in your life, unknowingly begin to manipulate you, playing on your feelings of guilt and duty. How to behave if you become a victim of manipulation by a loved one?
- Understand that older parents manipulate you not out of malice, but out of a feeling of insecurity.
- Feel more mature than your parents. Having understood the reason for the manipulation, look at the situation from the outside. Try to develop a communication style similar to the doctor-patient communication style: friendly but firm and patient. Don't be sucked into a scandal, don't react to criticism.
- Shift the focus from your love life to your own interests. Do not give all the details of your personal life, so as not to give rise to manipulation. Shift the point of interest from your life to your own: ask more questions and listen; help find a hobby and show interest in it. For example, help to master a laptop, organize a vegetable garden on the window, write to the pool, etc.
