Men and women often have the same feelings towards their children, dominated by parental love. But still, the role of the father is in many ways specific and has its own characteristics.
Men enter the role of father rather gradually. If a woman begins to feel like a mother already during pregnancy, then the representatives of the stronger sex realize their new status only after the birth of a child, and even then not immediately. Many of them need time to get used to, understand and realize everything that happened. The love that the mother feels for the child is unconditional, she loves him for the fact that he simply is, the maternal instinct is triggered. The father loves for something, and it is his assessment of the qualities of the child's personality that helps the baby to develop, move forward, strive to be the best.
The main qualities that children value in their fathers are intelligence, prudence, the ability to solve problems and the ability to take responsibility for the family. It is important for a child to respect his father, be proud of him. Unlike the mother, whom the child loves with unconditional love, the father must deserve his love.
Is there a difference between a girl's father and a boy's father? There is. The boy adopts the model of male behavior from his father, for him he is the only image of masculinity. That is why it is very important that the boy respects his father, otherwise he will have no choice but to follow the mother's model of behavior. For the girl, the father also plays a significant role. For her, he personifies the example of the ideal man. Later, choosing a husband for themselves, many women, consciously or unconsciously, seek in the chosen one a resemblance to their father.
At different age periods, children have different attitudes towards their father. Kids love to play with dad, it is important for them to have some kind of common business with their father. Growing up, becoming a schoolboy, the child strives to be as strong, courageous, dexterous as his father. Boys often willingly share their father's various hobbies: fishing, sports, collecting, etc. Teenagers, despite their desire for independence, still need the authority of their father, and even more than in other age periods. In this age period, it is very important for a father to be able to build trusting relationships with his children, to become an authoritative friend for them.
There are several typical psychological roles that fathers choose to build relationships with their children. These include the roles of “mentor,” “friend,” “leader,” and “outsider.” What is the most correct role? The “leader” orders, strictly controls and punishes, which is unlikely to help establish trusting relationships with the child, and in adolescence such a father will definitely receive a tough protest. The “friend” is too liberal, allows everything, plays the role of a peer, which is also not the best option for upbringing. The “outsider” takes a position of non-interference, such a father exists only formally, in this case it is possible not to explain the incorrectness of such a position.
The most optimal role of a father in the family in relation to children is the role of a “mentor”, which implies a lively participation in the upbringing of the child. For a developing personality, patient explanations, competent encouragement, fair punishment, joint analysis of various situations and problems, the implementation of common affairs are important - in a word, everything that implies friendly communication between father and child.
