Sometimes there is a feeling that life is wrong, as if it is not going as planned. And not the people around, and not the kind of relationship that we dreamed of. A painful question arises: “Why are the relations so superficial? And how can you build a serious relationship? The most important thing is not to forget that there are always two parties involved in a relationship.
Instructions
Step 1
Answer yourself to the question: "Do you want to live with this person for many years." In a state of love, people are happy and often blind. They do not notice or do not want to notice unpleasant traits in a loved one, because it seems that love can change everything, even a character, a loved one will be the way they want to see him. And this is the first mistake on the way to a serious relationship. But it is necessary to notice, analyze what kind of relationship a loved one has with other people. Be aware - the same style of relationships will be in the family. If you can look at your beloved, taking off your rose-colored glasses, you will be able to answer the most important question for yourself, whether you want to live with this person for many years. Try to imagine weekdays, long evenings together. Now analyze your feelings. Are you comfortable? Are there any unpleasant sensations? And be honest with yourself, don't be fooled.
Step 2
The second, important question, to which you must find the answer: what rules do you want to live with a person close to you? For example, it is very important for you that all things lie in their places, and on those that you have determined for them. It is necessary that the partner respects this attitude to order. Or do you really like to go to the theater, do not miss a single premiere. And if your partner does not share your hobby, then let him not bother you or forbid you. Likewise, you must respect what is important to your loved one. You need to understand if you and your partner are willing to compromise.
Step 3
Talk to each other. Talk to your partner about what you or he cares about. And talk a lot, because it is human nature to change, and accordingly, his life attitudes, worldview, values also change. It is in these conversations, when you discuss joint plans, rules, deeds, and build your serious relationship. It's like diving into the depths of the sea. A lot of doubts arise: whether there is enough oxygen, and whether something will happen under water. In a relationship with a loved one, something similar happens. What if he doesn't understand, turns away? Of course, misunderstanding, wrong conclusions, resentment are possible. But tell me, please, how else can you understand what the other person wants, how he envisions family life, without discussing all these issues? At the same time, it is important not only to express yourself, but to hear and understand the opinion of the other side.
